divorce and attorneys

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2005
divorce and attorneys
4
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:26am
I hired an attorney to handle a divorce for me. This was in Feb. 2006. In March 2007 I found out that my attorney never filed for divorce, never filed motions for fee waivers or for support from my H for me. I found this out when someone asked me about a "docket" number. I went to the courthouse and found out that nothing was filed on my behalf. I have contacted the Bar association, they can do nothing. I have been going on with this for months now. I have sent letters and made phone calls to the grieveance committee about this attorney. I just received another letter from the attorney stating that my file is in the mail. The attorney has told me this before, (back in May) as you guessed it nothing was sent to me, incliding my retainer fee. This I feel has damaged my divorce case considerably. My H is now in the process of having me served with divorce papers, that because of the time that has lasped, I no longer can use adultry or emotional abuse. He says that he is not going to pay me any alimony at all. We have been married almost 32 years, he says he gave me enough. I worked throughout our marriage too. My jobs were small jobs due to me working around his work schedule and the kids school schedules. He always told me to not worry about finding a job that would offer health insurance or any kind of retirement fund. He said that i will always be on his. Now that he has OW in his life, he wants to have her on his insurance and on as beneficiary of his policy that always had me as the beneficiary. For the record, his OW does not work, she is on disability, she does drugs and is violent towards my H. He chose it, I just don't thing its right or fair that she get the security that I worked towards for many years. I also am not working, I am not collecting disability, I closed out the joint checking account 2 weeks agao and have been living on the money that I withdrew from it. It is almost gone now, I have been seeing a therapists. I don't know what my next step should be with this attorney. I do have an appointment on Wednesday for a free consultation with another attorney, however, if I don't find a job soon I will not be able to hire another attorney, which by the way I am very leary about doing. My H knows my situation, he is making fun of my hardships. This from a man that married me almost 32 years ago. Thanks for listening, I wish you all the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:58am

I suggest that you march in this attorney's office and physically pick up your file. As far as the money goes send him a letter telling him that you expect a full reimbursement of the retainer you paid and you expect it by XXX day. If you don't recieve it you can and should file malpractice against him. Not all attorney's are as useless as this one, so don't let him destroy your confidence in them. I work with attorney's all the time and believe it or not there are some very careing ones out there that would love to take on a case such as yours. Since you are on disability you probably are eligable for some sort of legal aid as well for the divorce, but not necessarily for the malpractice.

As far as your husband and his threats, that's all they are...threats! He knows your weakness's and he's using them to initmidate you. Keep you in your place so to speak. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get ready to fight back. And yes, you will need an attorney to do so. But after 32 years he can NOT just walk away and leave you with nothing! I have a hard time believing that any judge would allow that to happen.

Good luck, and I hope it all works out for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2005
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 11:12am
thank you so much for your encouraging words. I have to say that I am NOT the one collecting disability. The OW is the one. My husband left me in Sept. 2005, he has not paid me any support at all. When I go see this attorney on Wednesday, I am hoping that I could use the 4 months that my husband and I spent together as a reconcilliation. He even had all his mail forwarded to my address. He got himself a new apartment, and my name was put on the lease, we also had a joint checking account together. I'm hoping that it would be enough to give me back some of the legal strength I had last year. I put angry down as an emoticon because I am really angry that after all these years, it has come down to this. I have e-mails sent to him by the OW, (he asked me to print them out) stating that I had to go, and that I shouldn't be awarded anything by the judge because she didn't get anything out of her 3 ex-husbands. I don't want to get into a he-said, she-said kind of thing with all this, I just want the divorce out of the way, and I want to be awarded alimony. I wish I knew of an attorney who would like and enjoy taking my case, I also want my H to pay all legal costs, including mine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 11:44am

I'm sure that with a little leg work you can find an attorney that would love to take on your case of malpractice. Of course your going to have to prove that he did indeed NOT do as you instructed him to do in the first place. Do you have any documentation, letters written from the bad attroney, or anything that says he didn't follow your instructions? Go to another town if necessary to find an attorney. You want one that isn't in the "good ol boy" club and isn't afraid to take on a buddy.

It's awfully arrogant of your H's GF to assume that you case is anything like hers. I'm sure that if she didn't get anything from her D's it's for good reason. That's like comparing apples to oranges. Keep all the documentation you have and use it if you can. Don't worry about the "he said, she said" aspect. When it all comes down to the nitty gritty it's going to depend on what you can prove. Your divorce attorney will know how to best advise you. Pay attention to him/her and go for broke.

Best Wishes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2005
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 12:52pm
I have every e-mail sent to me by the attorney. Even the ones stating what motions were filed and aprroved. Fee waivers, fincial support motions, etc. I also have the e-mail sent to me by her in May stating that she was sending my file along with the retainer fee I gave her, minus her small fees for mailing things to my husband. I even have the divorce papers she sent him!!! He didn't even respond properly to them!! I have sent yet another letter to another attorney on the greiveance committee hoping to get some action going. I won't give up in my search for an attorney. I'm hoping that I can now get my H on desertion again. We spent 4 months out of this year together, I am still receiving mail for him! He changed his address to mine, all his mail is forwarded to me now. Including mail from the IRS. I can't help but think that if only my attorney had done what was supposed to be done properly, all of this would of been over, the OW would of come into the picture after all was said and done. She has been a major complication through out this whole thing. She has my H convinced that he doesn't have to give me anything or help our kids out. I know that it is because she wants everything all to herself and her family. He makes good money. Also, she beat the crap out of my H all because he wouldn't buy her a new cell phone and he wouldn't put her on as beneficiary of his life insurance at his job. He isn't even divorced yet and she's fighting him for this. Not a very remarkable person at all, however, he chose her and he chose to live that kind of life. I can't worry myself about that any longer. I gave him his out and I helped him get rid of her the 1st time, he's on his own this time, let him have his life of drugs and violence with this woman, I am confident and happy in knowing that he never had that kind of life with me. He's a user and he's better off with a user.