Divorce and Children

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Divorce and Children
2
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 4:55pm

I constantly worry about how my d will affect my children. I talk to everyone i can about the reprocussions, including adults who were children when their parents divorced. Below is a bit from an email that i received just this morning. It was very helpful as my dd is the same age as my friend/cousin who wrote the reply. She is now 38, happily married with three children.

""I was about 10 when my parents separated, but 12 when it was final. My Dad received full custody at the end of my 7th grade year. I, remember, switching schools was the most difficult. However, it wasn't so bad, because I had so many relatives. When I look back today, I know, the divorce of my parents, was for the best. There was so much fighting. It wasn't healthy for any of us. Your children will be fine. It will take some adjusting, but in time it will be ok.""

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 2:06am

Thanks so much for sharing that. We hear so many horror stories about how our children will never recuperate, and it can be very scary. That was on of the many reasons I stayed in my first marriage far too long.

My son did have a bumpy adjustment at first, but overall, I think he's doing really well now. He just got a great report card and is enjoying middle school. DS was 10 when the proceedings started, and 11 when the divorce was final.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 10:57am
I agree. There is such an incredible amount of fear mongering out there. The problem is that they don't pay any attention to the fact that the majority of the poorly adjusted kids come from situations where the parents caused the issues. It's hard, any major change is, but I do not believe that it has to be detrimental for the life span of the children. I wish the public at large would stop pointing the accusing finger and threatening how "destoyed" the children's lives will be. Let me tell ya, I'm from a situation where my mom stayed "for the kids", it did me absolutely no good whatsoever.