Is Divorce contagious?
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| Mon, 04-24-2006 - 7:12pm |
Someone mentioned about divorce being contagious in another thread and I thought I'd throw it up for discussion.
We moved into our current house four years ago. Within the first year, a neighbor down the street left her husband. (complete surprise to all of us) In the second year, my friend/next door neighbor kicked her husband out (no surprise, he was clearly an angry guy and not right for her). Last year my behind neighbor moved out on her husband, but they had some issues that have been resolved and reconciled. Their next door neighbor divorced her husband (I'm going to guess he cheated). And my friend across the street moved out on her cheating husband (complete surprise).
Is divorce contagious? In my case it was. I saw what my friend next door went thru. She was very strong about it. She put a lot of thought into her decisions, went to counseling, made choices that were good for her kids. It was clearly a good plan. SHe has since remarried a great guy and is so far happily ever after. HOw could a role model like that not give me courage? And my other friend is not doing as well. SHe is still broken hearted, bitter, overwrought and frankly in denial. She does not want her children to know she is divorced. (doh!) She is also a great role model for me because she makes me feel strong by comparison.
So not only have I watched them go thru this process, I can ask them for advice 24/7. It is like joining a club. without them I may not have had the guts to go thru with it just yet. I really need their support. My married neighbors are helpful too, but getting a little wary. I make sure to point out positive elements of their relationships as I see them in a non bitter way, I hope they appreciate what they have.
We are all in our 30s. I have no idea how many of the older couples on my block have been married twice, but I'd be willing to bet we make a fair representation of the 50 percent rule of thumb. IT is like Wisteria lane here in suburbia!
Anyone else see a chain of divorce among their peers?
Susie

It does seem like when you hear about one couple getting divorced, there's usually news about two or three other couples separating right after that! I'm in my early 30's and a lot of my immediate peers have just gotten married, so there haven't been many divorces. A handful, but not a lot. Fast forward to people in their mid to late thirties? Now that's a different story.
I think what usually surprises me most is when I hear a certain couple is getting divorced...one that I wouldn't have imagined in a million years. That always shocks me for some reason. Even though I know
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Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~