Divorce due to weight gain

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Divorce due to weight gain
13
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 1:15am
So here is my story in a nutshell. I was married to my husband for six years, and dated him two years prior to that. We had a good marriage (so I thought) Yes we had our moments of fighting, but we had a lot of great times, a lot of good memories, and some great sex. Over the six years of marriage, I have put on weight. I have ALWAYS had a weight problem, and was overweight when we got married. Once in a while my husband would make a comment about my weight, but those times were few and far between, and I didn't think it was a big deal because he would tell me how beautiful I was, and we were intimate with each other. Plus,I have tried NUMEROUS diets and work out programs to no avail. So last July, my husband sits me down and tells me he is fed up with my weight, he is embarrased of how I look, and that he deserves a hot, sexy wife. Also, he is "possibly" interested in another woman. Huh? This was like being hit with a truck. Keep in mind, husband is an ex professional body builder, and is a fanatic about working out and being fit. So I join LA Weight Loss, join Curves, and really want to work on myself and our marriage. So far have lost 24 pounds. Well, two weeks ago, husband comes to me and tells me he wants a divorce. He is no longer attracted to me, is angry that I put on weight, and that he just doesn't want to be married to me anymore. He feels that my weight will be a lifelong struggle, and has lost hope that I will ever lose the weight completely. I felt like I was hit with two trucks this time! The issue I'm having is that I have this big sense of guilt like I should have taken the weight gain more seriously a long time ago, and that maybe if I would have gotten control of it early on, I wouldn't be in this situation. On the other hand, I get really mad because there is SO much more to me than my body, and I am sick and tired of people judging me because of how much I weigh! I am a good person with a big heart, and I feel that I was a good wife to my husband. I am now commited to losing the weight for myself and nobody else. In the meantime, I feel betrayed, devastated, stunned, and very unattractive and unsexy. Has anyone else had serious issues with weight gain and marriage?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 8:18pm

Hi MAy


Listen to me when I say this, Your weight has NOTHING to do with the fact he wants a divorce, he is using your weight as an excuse,he is a coward and an all around A Hole. If someone loves you ,really loves you, it would not matter what you look like,they would love you no matter what. If he is such a superficial jerk then your better off without him. He should see your beauty from the inside out, but that is not even the case ,He does not have the balls to tell you he is involved with someone else,so he is making your weight as the reason he wants a divorce, listen to me again, YOUR Weight has NOTHING to do with the reason he wants a divorce.


Kick this ass to the curb ,you deserve better and he deserves what he gets.


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart." ...Helen Keller


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-16-2007 - 1:35am
ITA It's not about the weight. It's about his problems that he doesn't want to deal with so puts it on the one thing that he knows will bother OP the most.







In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away

-shing xiong

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2007
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 11:25pm
I was really shocked when I read this post. Nobody deserves to be thrown away just because of their appearance. You are right, there is so much more to a woman than her looks. In high school, I got alot of jokes about a boyfriend that had a lazy eye, but he was the absolute sweetest and most caring boyfriend I ever had. The looks just don't matter! I think sometimes your personality is what makes you "beautiful." Don't feel totally alone on the weight issue. I have always had a problem with that too. To add to that, I just had a baby four months ago. I gained forty pounds during the pregnancy. Ugh! Surprisingly, my husband didn't comment much on it. Our marriage is failing for many other reasons though. Anyways, don't get down on yourself just because of one jerk off. You lose that weight for yourself! Find yourself a man that loves you for you cause you are awesome!

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