divorce shame?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
divorce shame?
16
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 2:59pm

I read this article, and it really spoke to me:

http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22087/22955/?CMP=KNC-DC_YSM_6

Divorce was the right answer for me, but I still feel ashamed of it. I never thought I would be one of those people. Now I am.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
In reply to: tall_mom
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 11:39am
Hugs and positive vibes to all of us sharing these feelings. I am sure we'll all get through this and the shame will fade. We can't control what other people think and we shouldn't think badly of ourselves. While I feel some of that shame now, I am working on it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: tall_mom
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 4:27pm

I never thought I'd be one of "those people" either.... but, I think that divorce was the last resort.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
In reply to: tall_mom
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 10:43am

Your post made me think...

I think I am most ashamed because my husband did rush for the divorce. He has never tried to work it out. We've only been married 3 years and have only lived together a little less than half that time. He says everything should have been great by now and no kinks to work out. It just makes it that much worse you know, because he wouldn't try at all or give it anytime. I have tried and gone to individual counseling, but you can't make a marriage work if the other person doesn't want to. I feel like I am ashamed because I should have tried harder, sooner, done better...ugh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
In reply to: tall_mom
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 1:41pm
Thanks to everyone for sharing your story and making me feel less alone. Your posts have brought tears to my eyes, and I really appreciate your support.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2007
In reply to: tall_mom
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 2:41pm

I, too, feel the shame. I'm in the beginning process of divorce as well and saying the word seems so final. Even deciding which forum to post in was difficult for me. I almost didn't want to start posting in the "Surviving Divorce" forum because of the word. It's like people recoil when they hear it. I used to think "till death do us part" and we promised each other we would never let Divorce separate us. That was when we were teens! We weren't mature, grown ups making smart decisions. We were young and in love and that's all that mattered. There were no thoughts of bills or family obligations or being ignored by a partner. Even though I want the divorce and I am pushing for it I have TRIED time and time again to love a man that I can't seem to love anymore. It's just not fair anymore to either of us or our children. However, I still feel shame and I feel sadness for the loss of my "family unit." Even though I have found happiness with someone else who makes me feel amazing. I am still sad and still grieving. I take things 1 day at a time. This article hit very close to home.

Thank you tall for posting the link.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
In reply to: tall_mom
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 12:20pm
Thanks so much for this info, I suddenly understand my parents a lot more.

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