divorced divas...
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divorced divas...
| Thu, 06-29-2006 - 11:29pm |
So we are all divoced... we still are women and can hold our own... we need support! We are are still special and "divas"!!!! Help me help us! We need each other! Girlfriends need girlfriends no matter what age or race! We are all women! Let's get together and help eachother and find ourselves without men! Come on now... no matter what stage you are at in the divorce or where you are at in your life... help us help you...
Please do respond! I need this and admit... so do you... let's get together!

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I think that as we are going through this time of change in our lives we need to start thinking of who we are surrounding ourselves with. Are the friends in our lives positive and add to our lives or are they toxic and keep us from moving to a better place.
I've stated in previous posts that I had issues with my best friend after my seperation and it has made me take stock in my life and truly reevaluate who I allow myself to be surrounded by.
Hmmm thinking of a new post.
It is tough and it changes who we are, going through something so traumatic... I found relationships that I had with people prior to the divorce become strained and now I was "one of them" you know the statistic of the bunch... it was a heartbreaking revelation... got through the divorce and then this... ugh...
Hugs to all of you!
Julie
Whenever I hear the word "diva," I immediately think of Diana Ross singing "Aint' No Mountain High Enough...." LOL! I know, I'm a weird one! Sure, count me in ;)
Follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange...
Girls! Women! Stand up and follow your gut, your instints. Not your heart. We want to nurture, to care for, to fix things and people. We want to be wives and mothers. We want the picture perfect family/life. Guess what? It won't happen. Nothing is perfect. Men are just as manipulative as society says women are. They will play on our emotions to get what they want. They will deny any wrong on their part. Twist things around and we if we give in and "try again" we will more than likely be right back where we are today. Sad, depressed, angry and asking "why". Your heart will mislead you, your gut will take care of you.
Personally, my heart is telling me to work things out with stbx. My children want him back. My heart wants him back. I don't want to be a failure at my second marriage. I don't want to be a single mother of four. I don't want to be "that" woman who couldn't save her marriage. BUT!!!! I see things stbx is doing and more importantly NOT doing that bring a doubt to my heart. My gut tells me I am doing the right thing. It isn't easy and the rest of my life will be a hard traveled road because of this decision. Ask yourself, is anything worth having easy? Giving in and taking him back would be the easy way out. More than likely I would pay for that decision the rest of my life with misery. I will take the hard road. I will pray daily for strength. I will be thankful and proud of every little mountain I conquer. I will raise my children to be strong, individuals, especially my daughter. I have goals, many goals and I WILL achieve them on my own.
Girls, have a drink! Paint your nails! Take a long bubble bath and prepare to fight for YOUR lifes! You can do it. We can do it. Only you can determine your happiness in your life and your children's lifes. Be strong. Be confidant. Be real.
Whew! Now I need to shower and go to the grocery store....do laundry....run some loan applications.......bathe the dog........play with the kids........mop the floors.......clean the garage...........get ready for a yard sale.........
thanks for the reply! I use the word "diva" because I felt I needed to still feel that even though I was out of my marriage and feeling totally lost... that I still had a sense of worth! I think that women need to come together and support each other through this nightmare of a time and we can all find ourselves again to move forward to a whole new life while trying to leave the old one behind us. I am no longer "Matt and Karey" now just Karey and her girls and trying to adjust to just that. I was thinking about getting a website up like divorced diva's or something of the sort so women can come to it and chat about their up's and down's and know that they aren't alone, as I do feel often when all my friends are married with kids and I live in a neighborhood full of families out with their children and husbands and I do feel like an outsider alone. No husband to fix the faucet and no husband to take out the trash and no husband to mow the lawn! Too depressing! I have been divorced for a year now but been without him for 2 years. Still finding it hard to move forward. I hate the whole "online" dating scene.. tried that.. my ex husband met a girl online and within twelve weeks of meeting her, (us in Oregon and her in Texas) decided to marry her and he moved to Texas and left me with raising our girls while he is now raising her kids. Talk about drama here! All so sudden. I of course threw a fit about it and he told me that I was just jealous. I am not jealous, but I am angry that he left his own children to raise another woman's children in a totally different state hundreds of miles away. He comes back thankfully once a month to see them. I maybe shouldn't complain too much as many woman have the husband leave and never come back. At least he comes once a month to see them. But what a major adjustment we have all been going through. I can't believe how resiliant my girls are after all this. They have helped me through it all just by being by my side.
I think what is the most depressing is that there are no outlets for women to get together for support. I tried finding one here in Oregon and there is only one at a church and it is full! So I tired this. Nice to know that I am not alone. That everyone has a story to tell, that we are all going through this. Divorce sucks! I tell all my friends that are married whenever they are having petty little fights with their spouse to work it out and stay. The alternative is way to lonely and unsure of the future. Hang in there! We aren't alone. We still have ourselves and will continue to grow and be strong and all be "divas" .... :)
Karey
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