Divorced Woman Stigma???
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|Sun, 03-16-2014 - 11:34am|
First time poster here! I went through the big D last year, and I have been attempting to get back into the dating pool. My ex and I have an amicable relationship and co-parent our one child together. It just wasn't ever right between us and we married because I was pregnant. Anyway, last year I started a new job and met a man who I had an immediate connection with. We never even kissed, but we had an intense emotional thing with long discussions of our feelings for each other. In the end, he wasn't willing to go "there" because of the complications of my life at the time, which made sense because I was still finalizing everything with my ex.
Throughout this process I started going to a local bar to hang with the girls. At first I had no interest in men, and made a point of telling everyone (including the barender) that I was unavailable and would not say yes to even a dance. Eventually I loosened up, and the bartender and I connected a little (essentially he liked it when I came because men spent lots of money buying drinks for me). After my previous "not" relationship ended, I went to this bar with a friend and commiserated with her and the bartenders. This was a couple of months ago. Since then, the bartender and I have been super flirtatious. Lots of touching and hugging and free drinks (even when no one is buying anything for me). Anyway, he is also D, so he understands that complication.
Last week I attempted to move it forward by staying past closing and attempting to kiss him when he walked me to my car. He backed away and said I "read too much" into things and that I was still in a vulnerable spot from my breakup and I had done a 180 and he didn't know why I was suddenly interested?? And that he was just trying to close things up and go home. There had been a bad altercation with a drunk guy previous to this, so I don't know if that was the cause of his change in character, or if he actually was never really interested.
It feels weird because for the second time in a few months I have had the weird situation of a man not wanting to be physical with me. I'm not overly interested in a serious relationship. I can't really figure out why I keep getting rejected. I'm very attractive, fit and educated. I don't have any problem with some random man wanting to take me home. But two men who seemed very interested in me have backed out when it came down to a simple kiss. I thought men were always interested in sex?
Is it because I'm divorced? Do they think I'm looking for a husband and daddy to my kid? Am I really that desperate? Am I reading everything wrong? What is going on?