Divorcing. Whats the best way to go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2008
Divorcing. Whats the best way to go?
5
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 12:33pm

I will try not to be long. My husband and I are tryin to divorce. He filed first and he wanted it to be a I believe the proper term in non contested. He went to a lawyer told the lawyer what he was willing to do and for how long and the papers were drawn up, if I agreed all I had to do was sign. Well the problem is I dont agree and since I dont agree he feels I am being unfair and he feels like he is being more than fair. In no way shape or form am I tryin to be evil towards him regardless of what we are going through, I just wanna make sure I am not being takin advantage of. He asked if we could talk about things and agree that way, I was hesitate but I was like ok fine. I told him after going over the paperwork I saw there was nothing about alimony, he laughed. He told me what he could and would do is pay me 2000 a month until Oct after Oct it drops to 1600 because his pay will change. 2000 is to include 1100 for child support and I guess the other 900 will be for bills/food. 1600 will include childsupport 1100, bills/food 500. He said he will continue to pay the lease on the car until its up (2 more years) and I have to be out of the house by Oct 1. I dont know what to think at this point no I dont want a long drawn out divorce but I dont wanna just accept something that may not be in my best intrest to do so. He said since I dont wanna agree he will not give me any of the tax money he will just use it to retain lawyers. We have been separated 1 year now and right now he has me living off chump change. I dont work right now and havent because he wanted me to stay home and tend house/kids because he was making enough to take care of everything. So I have been a homemaker for 5 1/2years. Not at all easy finding work after being umemployed for so long. I kno I need to get a lawyer but I just want to come on here and get opins. Does it sound like he is tryin to get over and pay the bare min or am i paranoid for no reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 2:57pm

You absolutely HAVE to talk to a lawyer, and the sooner you do, the better. Your lawyer can file for a temporary order of support and he will have to pay.

No one on here can give you any kind of legal advice, the sooner you talk to a lawyer and protect your rights, the better off you will be, Of course he wants it uncontested, and you having your own lawyer doesn;t mean it won;t be, it just means that you are protected.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 5:00pm

I agree with Deedle--see an attorney asap!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 8:59pm

We can't tell you whether this is good or bad because we don't know what your DH makes and what your bills are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 9:01pm

Oh a couple of other things I just thought of--since you are the SAHM, why should you be moving out of the house?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2012
Thu, 02-23-2012 - 6:58pm
I think talking to a lawyer is also wise. Mine has been very helpful and is working hard to get more than 50% since my husband had an affair, my husband filed for divorce and I haven't worked in over six years. It would be hard to find a good paying job at my age...I am 61. After "almost 39 years" of marriage I have to think long term. I hope you can stay in your home because IMO that would be best for your children. I have heard that getting divorced becomes a "business deal" so get the BEST deal that you can. Good Luck!