Do I love my husband anymore?
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|Sat, 03-16-2013 - 7:07pm|
I have been with my husband almost for six years and although I love him as a person, a great father and provider and a husband I have never been in love with him the way that I should've been. The day we got married I was six months pregnant. I conceived this child after losing my baby from a previous relationship. I was still spiraling from that loss and attempted to forget about my ex but jumping into a new relationship and starting a new family . Fast forward six years later I am doubting my feelings.
Recently I met a gentlemen in my boy's preschool class and there is intense chemistry there. We've taken our kids to the park together and have talked about the attraction we have with one another. We haven't done anything physical although I desire him intensely.
I am afraid of two things hurting my husband and destroying my family. I grew up in a single parent home and it was extremely stressful on my mother which is why I believe i've stayed this long. I've been in a major depression our entire marriage and recently discovered that I'm not clinically depressed but married to a man who deserves to be loved 100 percent not 80. I am not sure honestly how strong my feelings are for my husband because there's never been anything to test it. In the beginning he drank a lot and I attempted to leave but he wore me down with how i was destroying our family and I stayed. Now I am extremely unhappy most days and am turning to work, sleep and possibly an affair to bring life back into my soul. Anyone ever been in this situation? I confused and i'm scared. I do not want to destroy my family but how much longer will I live like this fourteen more years till my kids turn 18?