Do I want the best of both worlds?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Do I want the best of both worlds?
2
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 7:47pm
I sit here tonight wondering what the heck is wrong with me. I have visited the discussion a few times and have always gotten good advice. My husband and I separated for a few months last year and after lots of pleading, I finally came back to him. He finally admitted that he was the cause of alot of our problems before. Please, by no means do I ever think I was an angel through our marriage. The problem is I just am not happy. He has been wonderful since I came back. He started making plans with me about our future (which he never wanted before) and things were just really nice. The problem is, I just am not content. Sometimes, I feel like a spoiled brat, never satisfied. I daydream about what it would be like to have no responsibilities and to only worry about myself. We are both Christians, but I have to admit, his religion is alot stronger than mine. He had a strong drug past (this is no longer an issue at all), and its like he is trying to make up for the mistakes he made. Occasionally, I like to have a glass of wine or beer, but to him its absolutely NO. We do not have any friends together, so we don't get out much. Sometimes its like 4 walls closing in on me. My question is, what the heck is wrong. Please give me advice. If I sound like I want the best of both worlds, please tell me. I have been married two and a half years and we do not have children. Thats another issue. He's ready for a house full and I'm just ready at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:44am

I think that whatever you decide to do the fact that you have no children together will make it much easier. If you arent happy being married ........you could decide to get out of it.
The best of both worlds? well I dont know why we cant have the best of everything .......
I have been devastated about my divorce.......liked to died, but I am sort of looking forward to being single. I think alot of married women wish they were single and alot of single ones wish they were marrie.

I didnt want this divorce however .........I can now concentrate on my own needs which are many after what he put me through.......but I can heal and fix the house the way I want, I can go whereever I want, can have family over without worrying if they go home early because the H has to go to bed, I can listen to music now instead of having the tv blaring all the time. With the divorce rate so high I dont think I will ever marry again. its just too much work think I will have a man in my life for dates, sex, companionship and he can go home at night LOL

Dont be so hard on yourself. Wanting to be single is not a sin its a human right!
follow your heart.!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 10:21am

Marriage counseling! Lots of talking. Prayer, since you are a person of faith. Remember those vows! There is something called Retrouvaille which is for couples whose marriages are in trouble -- a weekend retreat. It is sponsored by the Catholic church, but I have Episcopalian friends who were separated a year and went and it helped them save their marriage.

If after all that and giving it lots of time you still think it is the right thing to do to leave, then ...

Don't know that that is what you wanted to hear.

GL,

M