Do second chances work?
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Do second chances work?
| Sat, 09-15-2007 - 8:31pm |
If you have already been separated for some time, what do you think the odds are that a reconciliation can be successful?
| Sat, 09-15-2007 - 8:31pm |
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He swears he's changed but has he done anything to show you that? Words are just that, you need action to know for sure.
I do think with the children that if you did decide to give him a chance that you should only do it without them knowing, maybe try a date or two and see how you feel. I wouldn't recommit to anything until you've seen hard evidence that supports the possibility of it working out. He should understand that you need a chance to see that he's genuine without the children knowing you are even considering the option. If he wants them to know then I'd say "No way" because that would probably mean he's trying to hook you back in, after all you would probably put up with a lot more after you got there hopes up, then you would if they didn't even know it was a possibility.
As for whether it could work, sure it could if you both really want it too. However, you really didn't indicate if you really did want to try again? Would you like too, or are you just feeling pressure to from him? Do you even know what you'd need from him for you to feel happy and in love with him again? I know from my experience with my own husband that there was many a time there were problems but I knew I'd be happy if he just did this, then one day I knew I wouldn't be happy with him any longer even if he finally did do everything I'd ever asked of him. Basically, there was a point where it could still be fixed and a time when it no longer could be. Where are you?
Katy
We talked about trying again, but H doesn't want to go through all the pain again if it doesn't work out.
~calla~ mom to rosie and gracie
Hey there peanutbutter,
First I would ask yourself "what has changed", besides the fact that you have been apart.
For example, have you been to intensive therapy in the interveining time frame? Has your husband been in AA and made the one-year mark?
I understand.
You might want to seek out some means to help you with the resentment aspect of your hurt feelings.
I'm of the opinion that anger just sort of works itself out.
However, resentment just lingers.
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