Do you tell

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Do you tell
21
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 4:48pm

this may not be the right question for this board, but here it goes.

i have been posting for a while now that i am divorcing my h primarily because he is an alcoholic. i won't go into all the details, they are there in past postings. i have not disclosed my a to him prior to our separation. he has grown suspicious and continues to ask me about it. he sends me mean vm's, tm's, emails. i know i may deserve it, and i want to be honest with him, tell him i was unfaithful to him, but he is still drinking heavily, still taking antidepressants, and still not employed. i never meant to hurt him, but my a was truly a reaction to an already bad situation.

i know there are alot of bs's on this board who have left their h or W because of an a and are now divorcing. so i hope my question doesn't offend you. but to those who are in my situation, do you tell? i don't want to hurt him anymore than he is hurt now, but he blames me for the demise of our marriage anyway. (alcoholics tend to blame everyone else for their problems) i see it as "guilt transferrence." (is that even a word)

what

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
In reply to: whatabadidea
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 11:29am
He's put two and two together with cell phone records. i still denied it. he's very hurt and very angry. understandably so. i never wanted to hurt him. i just wanted him to stop drinking, get off the couch, and get a job to support his children. of course, that still is a non issue with him.
what

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