Does anyone have one last fling with ex?
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Does anyone have one last fling with ex?
| Mon, 05-01-2006 - 11:41am |
I'm kinda tempted to just try one more time with stbx. I miss being physical and having someone hold me. It's been a long six months! I wonder if this would bring us back together, or cause me to be too emotional again. I know men need the physical closeness to get emotional and we're the opposite. I just feel that we're not "done" yet...as Dr. Phil says. We're not ready to move on. Deep down, my gut says...NO. On the surface, I'm thinking...we are still married and I do still love him. Woe is me.

Oh girl have I been there. Whew. I did it. EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. In the beginning my reasoning aside from still being in love with him was I felt the ow deserved it because she had did it to me. She deserved to wonder where he was when he was late. Wrong of me!
It happened a couple of times. It drove me crazy. For as much as I was alone when he wasnt there after we were done and it came time for him to leave and I knew he was going to her I felt more alone then before I did it. It was destroying me.
Then he left her and is now with a 19 yr old. I did it with him again and that proved a few things. That he hadnt changed even he claimed he did with the whole he isnt a cheater anymore. That I had become no better than the ow in my situation by doing this with him knowing he had a gf. I really wanted to make our family work and thought if I could make him see how we were still attracted to each other that we must have still loved each other and should be together. But I realized something. I didnt break us so why was I trying so desperately to fix us? I stopped it! I didnt like the way it made me feel. It wasnt me at all. This was all over a year ago but it made me feel horrible emotionally and physically because I wasnt getting what I wanted. It was temporary gratification. I deserve way more than that. So do you.
I cant tell you not to do it. I can only say that it takes you on an emotional rollercoaseter that you wish you never got on. Its hard when you first break up and there was such a deep connection there. I told myself I was just gonna use him for sex for a while. I was lying to myself. I know he was getting his cake and eating it to. If I didnt stop it he'd still be doing it and wouldnt have come back to our family.
Now we deal with each other only pertaining to our son. Things got really bad between us, he has alot ALOT of anger towards me. I have forgiven him for the most part. Lately we've been able to be civil to each other. Have looked each other in the eye briefly lately, something we couldnt do in a long time. We're in court for custody of our son so there's still alot of sharp corners to turn. But when things are quiet at times I still wonder if there will ever be anything with us again. There was so much love before. I have put it in God's hands. I tried my way and it didnt work so if God sends him back to me than who knows. If not then there is someone better for me.
Good luck in what you decide.
No way.... I was so sick and tired of my EX that I was sure I'd never want sex again... from anyone!
Lucky4me..... after we were divorced, I lost that bitterness and decided that "all sex drive was not lost" ;-)
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Take it from one who did this....DO....NOT...DO...IT!!! And I am telling you this because I don't want to see you hurt or caught up in a worse mess.
About two months after I moved out, I did have a very brief fling with my then STBX. He was crying, carrying on...I felt such guilt. As soon as it was over, I knew then in my heart, 100%, that I could not be with him ever again. This shocked me and stunned and hurt him. It made him furious, and made the divorce drag on even longer than it needed to.
I know it may seem like a good idea right now, but believe me, it isn't. It will only serve to bring up crazy feelings, prolong your healing process....etc. Thank about it, OK? I don't want to see you more hurt in the end.
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank
Oh yuck. Never. No way. Not in a million years. We didn't do the deed for 11 months before we separated!!!! The thought of it STILL turns my stomach!!!!
In fact, I saw him the other day and thought, "How on EARTH did I have sex with him?"
~calla~ mom to rosie and gracie
NNNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did it twice! The first time was when he and The Skank had broken up, right around new years. He called me around 1am BEGGING me to come and get him. He was at some party and it turned out there were some drugs around or something (something he really was trying to stay away from) and he needed someone SOBER to come and get him. So, I did. Well, he gets in my car and immediatly is all over me!! I mean the boy couldn't keep his hands to himself!!! Then, rather than his usual 'dirty talk', he starts talking about *making love*. Well, that one threw me! He even WANTED to snuggle!!!! HUH?! So, I'm thinking, "Hey, maybe this wasn't the worst mistake I'd ever made..." WRONG!!! The second time was about a week later. Anyhow, the aftermath was horrible!!! It was like watching him move his things out all over again...that same feeling of being punched in the stomach. I cried and cried and cried some more!!!
Don't do it! Don't do it! For the love of God, DON'T DO IT!!!!!
Thanks for everyone's input. I don't feel so alone. Jo