Does this even make sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Does this even make sense?
2
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:13pm
STBX said to me the other day that the reason why so many men leave their kids to be raised by the mother is because it's too painful for them to be around their kids only PART TIME... I swear he makes no sense... he said that women never think of it that way. I'm thinking that maybe it would be hard for him not to wake up with them every morning, but is NEVER waking up with them better? Like I said in my other post, he is an ALL or NOTHING guy. So if he can't have them all the time, he never wants them?? I just don't know anymore. I guess this means that once I'm gone, eventually he will just forget about all of us...since women don't want to be involved with men with children...they won't like his kids. (He has such a warped view on life) I said then be with a woman who has kids, cuz she will expect u to love her kids, if u expect her to love yours...and he said he would NEVER be with someone who already has kids, cuz that means they've been run thru... WHATEVER. The stupider (is that even a word?? LOL) I make him sound, the better I feel about leaving. He really is a dumb ass.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 3:19pm

I'm reading both of your posts.....


My EX played the card with me about how hard it would be to see his children after I "tore apart" our family.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 4:30pm

I'm hopeful that after everything settles down and stuff, that he will see that while we couldn't get along while we were together, we can both still be great parents apart. But before that can happen, he needs to get some counseling first. It would truly break my heart if he didn't come around eventually. I will NOT be the one to put bad thoughts or have anyone else put bad thoughts into my children's heads about their father...they will figure it all out on their own in time as they get older. It really would be his loss if he let them go that easily, but I guess I need to stop worrying about how this will affect him - as he is no longer my problem. As long as I tell the boys that their daddy loves them (or loved them) they will see the truth eventually. I don't know if what he says is truly how he feels, because he's not going thru it yet, and he's usually angry when he says these things... Once we're gone, he may change his mind...only time will tell.

But you hit the nail on the head with: That is totally how I feel. I hope we can make this work for the sake of the boys. THanks for your kind words