Does it matter who files first?
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| Tue, 07-04-2006 - 12:39am |
Since I am on the verge of filing (either him or me) I am hoping someone can answer this question.
He is having an affair right now, and doesn't know I know. It is his third one and I have finally tried hard enough to keep this marriage afloat. He tells me he wants a divorce but cites that he wishes to be alone etc (not knowing I know he is leaving me for another woman). We have one toddler son. I know he wants to divorce badly because he has already told his mistress that he is in the process. I just want out, I don't have anyone waiting for me but my beautiful son who deserves any family life that is better than this.
I am wondering if it matters who files first with regards to alimony and child support and custody. I'd appreciate any links to places that might help also, I live in California.
TIA,
Robin

Hi Robin!
Pianoguy doesn't have the slightest clue about the 'divorce rules' in California. .
However...it's usually the person who is seeking the divorce who does the filing.
You might want to consult with an attorney or a legal advisor? I seem to recall that California has some sort of 'joint property custody law?' And I'm sure the LAST THING you want to do is give away assets that will eventually be squandered by your (almost) EX?
Best wishes, warm thoughts and good luck!
Pianoguy
aha_terri, I have a question for you I also live in Missouri. Can I send you and email?
Sams
I'm not sure of the law in your state. I didn't want the divorce and still don't. Like your husband he told me he needed to be alone. Yeah right! He wanted to have another affair with a mutual friend without guilt. He said he wanted the divorce but never filed. After I found out and comfirm the affair I couldn't wait for him to file anymore. I went ahead and did it myself. I'll be darn if he's going to live with that skank gr for his using my truck and other belongings that he is keeping hostage from me. He was served 2 weeks ago. He pretended to be happy and thanked me for saving him from having to pay the filing fee. I told him it is a small price to pay to regain my happiness and be done with him forever.
Good luck to you. Please check with your attorney and see what your options are. If your husband is like my STBX, who never wants to divorce despite saying so, so that he can continue to using some of my belonging I would go ahead and file.
WOW thank you so much, your response gave me stuff to think about that I had not thought of or even knew about. Hopefully I will be more than one step ahead of my STBX.
Tonight I told him I knew about his affair and kicked him out once and for all. I'm hoping that doesn't affect anything with the divorce but it was either that or I go to jail for assault or murder :)
Robin