Does this seem fair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2008
Does this seem fair?
17
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 11:39am

STBX and I are going into mediation sometime this money and he would like to just settle and get this over this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Wed, 06-11-2008 - 3:21pm

I would not listen to HIS lawyer. Remember, HIS lawyer's job is to do the best that he can for HIS client. You and NOT his lawyer's client. Legally, HIS lawyer cannot give you legal advice. That is a conflict of interest, and can get him in a lot of trouble. So if his lawyer said that a court would approve that or made any LEGAL representations that was an acceptable solution, he could be in a lot of hot water. Now, there's nothing wrong with his lawyer telling you that's what he wants and omitting the fact that most judges, etc. would not approve of it anyway. He's under no legal obligation to explain that it does or doesn't benefit you. His duty, again, is to HIS client.

Really, you'd be well served to get your own lawyer and put this through him or her. If your husband has counsel, you need someone to have your back. I know it's expensive, but it's well worth it in the long run.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2008
Wed, 06-11-2008 - 6:28pm

Sorry but i don't see why your partner should pay more for the children than you, just because he earns more. Yes he should contribute to their upkeep. Regardless of wages, it should be split fairly 50/50. So many men (and women) shirk their responsibilities to their children at the time of divorces and after. Your children are lucky that they have a father that is both financially and most importantly emotionally connected to them. Stop moaning about how hard it is

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Thu, 06-12-2008 - 11:29am
Most states don't agree that upkeep and payments for the children should be split 50-50 regardless of income. There are other factors involved. Perhaps she sacrificed an income when the children were small. She should be compensated for that. Many states factor thing like that into their support formulations. 50-50 does not always equal FAIR.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 4:45pm

Advice:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2008
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 4:52pm

Thank you, this is probably the best advice I have heard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 5:09pm

Oh - daycare/child care IS separate from child support!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 5:21pm

Good, I'm glad you've got an attorney!

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