Doesn't care, or doesn't have a clue?
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Doesn't care, or doesn't have a clue?
| Mon, 05-30-2005 - 9:47am |
Does he not have a clue, or does he not care? Probably a bit of both. Over the long Memorial Day weekend, I've seen him a total of 10 minutes in the morning right before he leaves for work. I expected this as pools open this weekend and it's our company's job to get them open. (I swear that's not the part that I'm upset about) Anyway, the part I am upset about is the fact that those 10 minutes I've seen him are the only communication I've had also. He's got a cell phone, he could call during a break. Even just to tell me when he's coming home. I don't get any of that. Even a year ago he used to ALWAYS call and let me know how late he was going to be. He asked me this morning if I'd go out and buy his new employee a pair of work boots for him. I asked why and he said that it was a gesture of good will, kept moral up, and that this new guy didn't know what kind of work boots to get. He also told me he'd bought Pizza for all the guys who helped him working on the pool yesterday for the same reasons. I thought, you can buy pizza, have ME buy boots and do stuff like that to keep up moral, and I'm not worth a phone call to keep up moral on the home front? Gee thanks. Last night I was asleep when he came home, when I woke up I was going to check to see if he'd even come home because I had no idea. How's that for nice? He's so worried about good moral at work and it sure seems like he could care less at home. It's like a slap in the face and he doesn't care. He told me as much when I asked him if he could at least spend 5 minutes to pick me up a card for mothers day and he said "no, I don't have anything left for you after work." But he's got all this time and energy for his employees. I made him an omlet this morning and the first thing he said was "There's too much cheese on it. Why'd you put so much cheese on it?" I thought, you're welcome you sob for breakfast! And the more he does this, the angrier I get thinking "my time will come"

If you hadn't had the conversation about the card, I'd say he doesn't have a clue. All these things he's doing are building resentment, and you are thinking instead of telling him how you feel, and you are assuming he knows he's hurting you. In the world of communication, that isn't good. A statement like "I don't have the energy to help you keep moral of the guys up, becuase you can't do anything to keep my moral up" would be good. It shows him there is a relationship between you and the rest of his life, and says you believe you are just as important (you benefit his work by helping out), and it points out he'd get a lot more 'good will' out of you if he could show some caring towards you. But then the fact that he said he doesn't have enough energy or heart to get you a card says he knows exactly what he's doing and that he doesn't care. And if that's the case, then maybe it's time to stop being so helpful, no more errands for his guys, no more omlettes. Go on strike.
Edited 5/30/2005 10:39 am ET ET by firstamendment
Yes, lil Pepper.... your time will come.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
You know, some things are just not worth our time or hearts for anger.
When my H first left, I bought him Xmas and birthday gifts, even just "thinking of you" gifts..... Only to get NOTHING in return, not even a phone call on my birthday.... heck, not even an email. I got mad at first, I thought OMG, I am his wife and he cannot even call me to say hey! happy birthday! Mother's day, the same way..... no card, but I had the kids make him a card and call him on Father's Day ( even though he didn't call to see them