Done with DH's crap but can't leave yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Done with DH's crap but can't leave yet.
1
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 5:24pm

I posted back in Sept that I found out on the day of my DD's birthday party that DH had been calling phone dating lines. It ended up costing over 1200 by the time we got all the cell bills. He promised he would not do it again and of course I believed him. Last night I was on Google trying and noticed that if you double click the search box you could see everything that has been searched. It turns out DH has been going to porn sites thinking by goggling them I would never find out. Porn has been a big issue in our marriage. When we were first married I found a box of over 100 movies, he said it was just a faze from his younger years and he would never do it again. I throw everything out. On and off in our marriage I have found porn and of course he apologias and I let it go. I even had to block the computer for four years because he would spend hours looking at it. I was stupid to think he would change. Lately he has been asking me to do some off the wall things like sex with other men so he can watch and becoming a stripper. I knew something was up with him. I am pretty sure he is still talking to girls on the phone. He changed cell phone companies to one that gives you unlimited minutes and refuses to let me see his bills. After yesterday I am so done with our marriage. I am not even upset it is over, more relieved. My problem is I have four kids and 2 yrs of college left. I don't want to lose my house and once I finish school I will be able to afford it. I only need $800 a week to pay bill and food. There is no way I can get a job making that kind of money now. If I have to put the kids in child care it will run $350 a week. I am on the waiting list to get cc assistance but when I called it said it will probably be a year still. I think I am going to have to go on living with him acting like everything is okay for the next two years. I know he is going to try and take the kids. Last time we split up his mom later told me that they had agreed she would retire and raise my kids when he got them. He plan was to prove I could not take care of them financially. He also told his mom how he planned to get away with not paying but min. cs if I got the kids. He would cut back on his work for about a month to make it look like he did not make as much as he does. I know I will not be able to count on him for child support. At this point I don't know what to do other than just stick it out for the next two yrs. My sister said I needed to come up with a plan but for the life of me I can't figure one out that did not leave us without a home living in a shelter. My sister offered us her spare room but her DH will not go for it. My parents are in the middle of a divorce so they are out of the question for help. Even if they were okay the only one I could turn to is dad. He is so strapped right now he can't do much to help me. I am trying to find something I can do from home that will pay enough so I can go ahead and leave. I have been putting a little money back each week since Sept and by Jan I will have enough for the divorce but I still can't afford to live until I find a job. Sorry if I am rambling I am just so mixed up right now.


 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 11:16pm

Cut back for a month my a double s!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~