Don't give up so easily...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Don't give up so easily...
13
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 2:38pm
I've read many posts by people who have given up on their marriage without really trying to save it. I would just like to say from personal experience that divorce can have devastating effects on people and their families. It's especially damaging when someone leaves another because of a change in lifestyle (loss of a job, spouse is in the military and has to go fight for his/her country, retirement, etc.). My step-mother left my father after he had retired because she found it too difficult to be with him all day long. One year later he committed suicide. Please, try to save your marriage. We live in a world where people seem to give up too easily when times are tough. Try to think back and re-discover the person you originally fell in love with....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 1:35am

adam - i am very sorry about your father and I can understand how devastating that can be. I think that if you stick around this board for a while you will hear how DIFFICULT it is to leave a marriage, how MUCH spouses DO put into trying to make it work, how MUCH a spouse might suffer before taking that final step.I don't disagree with you that people divorce alot lately - but I don't know if its too FAST. i think that the problem is, sometimes, that people get married for the wrong reasons and then, after the "honeymoon" is over, they are left with a mismatched, dysfunctional, unhealthy relationship. staying in a BAD relationship is worse than getting divorced "too quickly" IMHO.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 7:32am
I agree with you Adam. I have heard some people leave a marriage simply because "they aren't happy" but they can't really pinpoint any particular thing. I left my marriage because he was physically abusive and had multiple affairs on me with teenage girls, one was our 19 yr old babysitter. And I still cry that the marriage was that way and that it couldn't work out. It is very hard on the kids not having their father here every day. They love him. To this day I wish I could have made it work out with that man. I live in a fantasy world though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 6:45pm

I am sure that there are a lot of people out there, not just "here", but everywhere, who think "the grass is greener" ... i see it in a few freinds of mine. But for ME, & i know i dont have to justify, i tried every single thing there was, over many many years ... & all to no avail. B/c of that, i will never feel as if i didnt give it my all.

R~

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