don't know what to do.....
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don't know what to do.....
| Tue, 10-31-2006 - 1:07pm |
I need some advice. Guess that's probably why a lot of people come to this great place. Anyway, I have been divorced from my husband since june 2006. He initiated the divorce stating the reason of not being able to communicate. I know now that he has a girlfriend and I honestly believe that that is why he wanted to leave from the beginning. Since she has come into the picture their relationship has been on again off again. My xh is a truck driver so when the relationship is on she comes back to our home town with him on the truck. My xh is home approximately one day a week and sees our two girls who are 15 and 10 about 5 hours a week. Here's the deal...I feel that the girlfriend is a bad influence on our 15 yr old whom we have had to put into counseling because she has performed very poorly over this last summer doing things that are totally out of her character. My xh has tried to "hide" his girlfriend from me by telling our girls not to tell me that she's with him. This is because, I feel anyways, the girlfriend is 20yrs old and my xh is 44yrs old. He is embarrassed and I know that he knows this relationship is wrong. The girlfriend was 19 when she slipped into the picture. What I am having issues with is that the moral standing of this relationship and the influence the girlfriend has had on my 15yr old and the little bits of conversation I know she has had with 15yr old is freaking me out. I need to know if it's selfish on my part by telling my husband that if she is around that the girls can't go with him. My xh is a great father. He has made mistakes but this is a hard time for him too. I still have deep feelings for him, even knowing that our relationship could never be again. I fear that he is stepping into this relationship with this girl and will regret it and by putting the kids on the back burner they will not want to or care to be with their father. I don't know what to do. My stomach turns when I know that the girls will be going where she is.

this is a tough one.
If it was me I would call him on it! Let him know you know about her and that the girls are feeling in the middle of it and it's confusing for them.
I would tell your kids that... you're not going to say anything to their dad about his girly... and if they choose to comment about her or want to talk about it... you're there to listen... and help guide THEM if THEY have things that they want to talk to their dad about regarding her.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~