Don't know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Don't know what to do
5
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 2:51am

My son's father and I divorced in August of last year. We'd been separated for almost 2 years before that. He's still so angry and tries to start arguments all the time. When I'm talking to him in person, on the phone, or via email, it may be a nice, normal conversation, or he may turn and try to start an argument. He's constantly trying to bait me and boss me around.

He is still very much involved in my son's life. My son is only 4.5 years old. He's started therapy because of some emotional issues, so I feel that his father and I need to get along now more than ever. But I don't know know what to do. He makes me so angry with the way he talks to me.

Any suggestions? Anything would be appreciated.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 4:43am

melanda...

It sounds like you're doing whatever it takes to "keep the peace" between your son and his Father? Pianoguy admires you.

Unfortunately, the bickering that Dad continues to 'bait you' with...isn't going to end anytime soon. You might want to consider taking a friend or a relative along with you the next time you leave your son with his Father.

When an "outsider" can actually observe the way an EX treats a former spouse or companion, the verbal damage is usually minimized! If the nasty comments continue, this same person can testify in court....in the event you wish to assume full custody of your son?

Sorry you have to go through this mess...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 7:56am

One time I brought my boyfriend with to pick up my son from his father's house. I figured he wouldn't start up with somebody else there. Well, he didn't start up. Later on he emailed me telling me never to bring him to his house again or else he'll get a restraining order.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 8:42pm

melanda...

PG (being a male) is going to offer a guess that your EX wasn't completely thrilled by the presence of a new b/f!

When a woman "displays" her new b/f in front of an EX (husband or otherwise)....it's the same as opening up a wound and watching the blood trickle out a 2nd time! It's also a not so subtle way of implying: "This man has me now and you don't....ha! ha! ha!"

My suggestion for a companion to bring with you was either another FAMILY member or a FEMALE FRIEND. Sorry, I didn't clarify this better.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 3:50pm

No way can he get a restraining order if you are, peacefully, picking up your child.... no matter WHO is with you.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 8:18pm

I would suggest maybe having to do the child exchange in a public place, like the police station, McD's--any place but your own/or his home.

Sam

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.