Don't know where to turn?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Don't know where to turn?
6
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 12:08pm

Some of you might remember me, I am dating a guy who is separated. He is having all sorts of problems with his divorce. For one, his lawyer never contacts him. He is always speaking to the paralegal, and she never advises him to do anything except sit tight while the paperwork is being processed - he has been sitting tight for over a month. He hasn't seen his son in over a week. His wife won't answer the phone or respond to his emails. He has even driven out to her house, but she's never home. My lawyer wasn't like this with me, but my situation was different.

I am worried sick for him. He is a decent man. His wife stole from their company and has just torments him.

Anyone deal with a lawyer who only calls when papers need to be signed? How do you handle it? Did you consult another lawyer? Did you switch lawyers? Did you just sit tight and it all worked out in the end?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 12:12pm
My sister is an attorney and when I started looking for a divorce attorney she said one question I should really ask is whether the attorney has a policy of returning calls the same day him/herself. I get from her comment it's common to have an unresponsive attorney and your case will suffer for it. He should probably switch attorneys IMHO.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 12:59pm

I actually got tired of it after 6 months of not hearing from my attorney and I switched attorney's.


My attorney was GREAT when I needed to get the papers served, but after that, it was unanswered phone

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 1:35pm
What if he did sign a retainer? Can he get his money back if he decides to switch attorneys?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 2:25pm

My question for you is: Are you really OK with being so closely involved, and helping him so much with his divorce? Getting a divorce is a difficult and emotional time, and he will learn the most and feel best about everything if he handles this himself. This frustration, and all the hoops he will have to jump through are all a part of the choices he has made in his life up until this point. He needs to take care of this, and spend some time reflecting on what it all means and what he can learn from it.

analogy: If a baby is going to learn to walk, Mommy has to sit back and let him do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 2:52pm
True. To be honest, I am just trying to educate myself so that when he discusses things with me I can be helpful in my advice. I am not actively participating in his divorce. I already went thru my own, but my case was so different. I realize this is his battle, and he needs to make the final decisions. Thanks for worrying about me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 3:08pm

No, probably not. What you can do is ask for an itemized bill for the work done and then ask for the remainder of the retainer back.