Dont say I DO till u meet his mother!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Dont say I DO till u meet his mother!!
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 2:07pm

Hey all,

I am going into the divorce "void" after 14 yrs of marriage. It has always been a stormy relationship, but we mananged to get past it. Last year I wanted to file and get out of the emotional hell, but he talked me out of it. Of course I didn't mention my 187000 work comp settlement for a perm electrocal injury at my old job that came in at the same time he wanted to stop me, hmm should have been my first clue I guess. I stayed. We moved to the same town as his mother. BIG mistake, she has caused financial and numerous hardships on us from the beginining. Now that our girls are 13 and 11 they see their grandmother as she really is and wanted to get away from here. My STBX is oblivious to his mothers lies and manipulation, no wonder her other son moved 3000 miles away and hasnt came back. The relationship is gone, but I have to live here because all of my money is GONE. Yup he spent it. Granted so far all of the divorce agreements have been friendly and the even the custody agreement is not an issue. Two weeks w/me, two w/him and all flexible if the kids don't want to go to the parents house, or need a diff plan for vaca. We just don't agree that his mother needs to not come here while I live here. SHe talked doodoo about me in front of my kids not too long ago, did I mention my sister in law lives with her mom and they hate men, but are raising a boy? Poor kid. CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD!!! I am so angry, broke, hurt, confused and crushed. My girls have been begging me to go through the divorce since last yr.
Im disbaled on 752 a month ( the money he couldnt spend) from my work comp. He works full time and gets a pretty good check, he gets to keep this house which his sister (she lives w/mom) owns 3000 sq ft 2 bath home on two lots for 700 a month. Lucky him. UGGGGG. WE file the papers on FRI and I am not sure how I feel, happy, but sick. Does that make sense? It is a joint divorce and Colorado isnt too bad about granting them quickly. He is angry if he has to pay me a penny. HELLO I cant work, electrocuted, nerve damage. It has been only 3 weeks since we spilt up, so I guess Im still reeling. THis time I AM NOT GOING BACK!! I am getting all my applications for housing and stuff, I just wish my SSDI hearing would be faster...I think I'm insane some days. I want to warn the next woman to spend time w/his mother before she even dates him...just kidding. I was married at 18 and now I'll be 32. I know everything will feel better someday and I wont burst into tears all day and eat something. I'm already on many meds for my injury so I hope one will pick up my endless depression. THank you all for listening....I have been reading your stories for days and I am sooo with you all. I'll prob whine again soon..Ladies all for one and one for all!!

Bridget