Drama every single day!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2005
Drama every single day!!!
2
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 10:07am

Okay--here is the story. Last week we were "supposed" to have decided to separate, but when it came time for him to do something, he doesn't want to do that he wants to stay and he loves me dearly. He was wonderful this weekend. Then Monday comes and it is the same ole sh** different day.

But here is the kicker! Last night at a community function, we were walking TOGETHER with our CHILDREN and a guy I barely know whom I had a class with this past semester, spoke to me. He stopped said "hey, what are you doing" I replied, "out here with the kids, what about you?" He says " came to see what all was going on" That is it! Entire conversation!!! And my H and kids were right there. Fast forward to this morning...according to him I have lied, I had some sort of "relationship" with this guy and he is done with me!

WHATEVER!!!! He was the one who cheated and then continued talking to her on the phone for months, but I can't even speak to someone!!!!! And by the way, this guy is all of 18-19 yrs old and i am in my 30's. He is just a child. This is so crazy! Why do i even bother?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 10:28am

Oy, hugs to you.....


I think he is playing games and I can't even imagine being in your shoes. What a mess! Have you spoken to him about making a decision and STICKING with it instead of making everyone, including your kids, feel and know the tension in the house? ugh.... Men!


Hugs sweetie....


Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 11:04am

He made that up because if he can convince himself you had an affair too, he won't have to feel as guilty. Plus he might get some kind of charge out of pushing your buttons and upsetting you so much.

I'm a big fan of avoiding drama, and there are plenty of ways to do this *after* you decide on divorce and separate (or make a strong committment to make it work). But going through the process of separating or deciding to separate is very traumatic. Everything you know and have counted on in the past is changing. His being a jerk amplifies it even more, but even if he was not doing that this would still be hard. My ex and I have a good co-parenting relationship now, but the time between me saying I wanted a divorce and when we sold the house and moved was high drama almost every day. (((HUGS))) All I can say is it doesn't usually stay like this forever. He has to figure out what he wants and you have to do the same, and his imagination about some relationship you didn't have isn't going to change that.

Photobucket