Dreaming about my ex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Dreaming about my ex?
3
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 5:42pm

I was with my ex for seven years, married for five. Our friends and family would say we had the friendliest divorce in history. I have no qualms about anything nor regrets and I don't feel that he does either. I got engaged to a wonderfully amazing man in February and things are going fantastic between us. I've talked to my ex a few times since getting engaged, and although he knows I'm living with my new man, I haven't mentioned the engagement.


The other day, when talking to a mutual friend of ours, he asked me if my ex was also engaged. I told him I had no idea, I haven't talked to him in a while. Honestly, I would be truly happy if he were. I think he's a great guy, just not my perfect match. Besides, if I were upset about it, I would be a total jealous hypocrite, and we can't have that.


Since this friend asked me if he was engaged, I've had dreams about him every night. Generally I dream that I am asking him if he's engaged, who's the lucky girl, etc. The dreams aren't sexual in nature, nor taking place while we were still together.


Is this just a bunch of psychobabble? Am I thinking about this subconsciously more then I realize? I don't get it.


Also, I've decided to sell my wedding dress, and while I was pressing it the other night, I found his christening cap pinned inside. I plan to send it back to him, because I'm sure, if nothing else, his mother would like it. Would it sound totally catty if I put a note in there that said: I thought I'd send this back. Perhaps your future wife might like it?

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"We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 10:15pm

Wow, congrats on the friendly divorce! lol, I wish more of us were lucky enought to have that!


This man was a huge part of your life, you were MARRIED to him! Of course he's still in your brain, of course you're going to have dreams about him from time to time. I still have dreams that my ex and I have gotten back together...do I want him back? HECK NO! I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure you're just having dreams b/c someone mentioned him to you.


As far as the christening cap goes, it could come off wrong if you said his new wife might like it. If it was in person, then your tone of voice or body language could show that you are being sincere. In a note however, it's hard to come across as being sincere. I would say just send a note that says, "I thought you might like to have this back." Just keep it simple :o)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 11:25am

I agree with Samantha that it's normal to have dreams about the ex now and then, especially when you've just heard something new about his life (the possiblity of him being engaged). I also agree that I wouldn't make a comment about his new wife - it could be taken in a manner other than what you intend.

-sang

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 9:49pm

I think the whole dreams thing is just because it's on your mind a bit.... and I'm sure that you both still care about each other even though you've both agreed that being married wasn't the best thing for the two of you.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~