dreams

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
dreams
3
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 3:57am
My id shows amethyst57, I have changed it from Rhea57. My question is, do the dreams ever stop? Every single time I fall asleep, I dream of my H. They aren't pleasant dreams, they usually wake me up, they are usually upsetting to me. Then I can't go back to sleep. they are dreams of him laughing at me, ridiculing me, then he always ends up with another woman by his side, all the while he's glaring at me making some kind of remarks like look at what I have. My emtional state isn't very good as it is. I have heard some people say that in time you just go numb, when is that time going to hit?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: amethyst57
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 12:13pm

Well, part of the problem could be that you just aren't getting a good night's sleep.... any night... and that can just toss everything about your day... and night... out of it's natural balance, and it sounds like this is more than just an every now and then thing that's happening.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2005
In reply to: amethyst57
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 6:49pm
Strange that you should mention dreams, I've been having them too. The one I had last night woke me up like a horrible nightmare, and I was shaking so bad I could hardly stand.
It's not like we don't deal with these things enough while we're awake, you know? Sleep should be an escape. At least, that's my opinion.
This has to pass. People get through divorce every day, that's what I keep telling myself. I wish I had the answers you're looking for, but I'm looking for the same ones I think.
(((hugs)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2005
In reply to: amethyst57
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 7:54pm
As some of the great people on these boards know, I have been on quite a roller coaster with my H for a while now. Like I told my H, I never had the time to deal with the hurts, (we always somehow managed to get back together) This time, I am not allowing myself to get back on it. I don't care what the OW does to him. He has hurt my children and I so much this time. I am hearing more and more things about my H. I want to get over all these emotions and dreams and everything this time. My children don't fully understand what I am going through, they just feel that it has been going on for so long now that I shouldn't be dealing with all the emotions that come with it. My heart breaks for them because now, they don't want anything to do with their father, they tell me that they and myself are better off without him. The kind of life he has chosen is not the kind of life they want to live.
I have gone to sleeping pills now, in the hopes that they might help, instead of taking 1, I take 2. My therapists has warned me that sleeping pills can become addicting. I am going to talk to her some more. I leave the TV on in the hopes that I can keep myself focused on what is being said on the TV, to keep my mind off of the things that keep sneaking into it. I feel myself start to drift off then all of a sudden the eyes are wide open again, some kind of image or something my H or the OW have said to me comes into my mind.
I am so sorry that you also are going through this. It's true we aren't alone, there are many people going through things like this, thats probably why there is such a great understanding from these boards. I feel bad every time I see someone else going through this, someone else's spouse has told them I don't want to play house with you anymore, I have someone else I want to take care of and provide for and you fend for yourself, and get your lazy a-- a job. These words were spoken to me by my H. It's ok that the OW doesn't work, it's ok that she does drugs and hits him etc. It isn't ok for me to be having a difficult time with all this. Of course, I can't begin to remember all the times my H nagged me about getting a job. I worked through out most of our married life, yet he says yeah right you worked at deadend jobs, jobs that had no money or future to them. Hello!!!! you didn't want me to get jobs that offered health benefits or retirement benefits. Right after my H's 1st affair, I signed up with my employer for a retirement fund. He got so mad at me for doing that, it meant money coming out of my paycheck. I told him then that I didn't feel secure with him anymore after the A. Funny what you remember on sleepless nights, maybe thats why they are sleepless, you are remembering the not so nice things you shared together?