drops a bomb then wants a divorce...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008
drops a bomb then wants a divorce...
6
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 12:35am
So in January my husband of 6 yrs... together 10.... tells me he no longer has feelings for me and that he's been addicted to drugs for 4 years, he's a pharmacist and was able to hide it very well due to his long hours and me being in school. We started counseling and then he moves out, 2 weeks ago our therapist said my husband needs to focus on himself so therapy ends. He's been gone 2 months and the weekend before he starts rehab he comes over to tell me he doesn't feel like trying any more. He says he's almost 100% sure he doesn't love me anymore, and he doesn't have what it takes to be in this relationship. He then told me he doesn't want me involved in his recovery. So he starts rehab on Monday and comes over afterwards and asks me to attend the family sessions with him. ( I know this doesn't mean anything for us, he just needs support). I guess where I need others opinions on the matter is whether you think he is in the place to make this kind of decision. I am hurting here for so many reasons...I don't know what end is up. Thanks in advance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 7:34am

Goes,


Well, it sounds like your husband discovered recovery does take help and figures you're a natural to be his buddy. You can decline.


He needs a sponsor. He can find someone else.


I'd encourage you to seek therapy for yourself. Its a tough job coping with all that's been thrown your way in such a short time. You need support to cope with his choices and how those will affect your life from here forward. Your husband will have to figure out his own life, starting with recovery.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 6:50pm

sorry that you are hurting.

KLM
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 7:16pm
I don't now if I can handle that... giving him support then him walking away in the end. but I know if I am not there for him now that I would not of done all I said I would in my wedding vows. The problem I see is that I can not stop loving him just because he has stopped loving me. He is cold when around me and I try and take that as the reality but I also know he has deep seeded depression issues and the addiction as well. I don't want to give up just because things are on their way to an end.
I just started therapy for myself today. Hopefully it will allow me to become a better me as he works on himself. And from there we can figure what will happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 8:32pm

I'm glad you decided to do the theropy!!!

KLM
Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 8:40pm

I agree with the others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008
Sat, 05-17-2008 - 4:18pm
so now he doesn't want me to go....and he no longer wants 2 talk. He says we should only talk business...ugh!!!