Easing the transition
Find a Conversation
Easing the transition
| Mon, 12-18-2006 - 9:25am |
When 10 y/o DS comes back from visiting his dad, he's usually pretty out-of-sorts for a few days... argumentative (like his father, he's argumentative by nature, and this is multiplied 10-fold after a visit), destructive, doesn't listen... it's as if he thinks he has free-reign to do whatever he wants (his dad kinda lets him do what he wants at his place). How can I make the transition from X's place to my place smoother for DS, me and my other DS? DS only visits his dad every other weekend, but it usually takes 3-4 days for him to settle back in to a routine at my house... chores, rules, he has to make his bed and clean up after himself...
Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

I am sure you have but I thought I'd ask anyway- have you talked to his father about how tough the transition is on your son? Perhaps if you tried to approach it as a struggle for your son and not for you (he will be mroe sympathetic if its his child)
I go through this with my two kids, too. They are allowed to do whatever when they are with their dad and it makes for a TOUGH couple of days getting back into the swong of things.
I have more suggestions, but thought I'd start with this one...
Good luck!
It is very difficult to talk with X about DS-- he is in another world as far as our parenting styles are concerned. His attitude is "my parents let me grow up on my own, DS should too." Or, "I learned it on the street, if it was good enough for me, then it's good enough for DS." Even after literally MONTHS of X and I having social workers assist us with behavioral issues with DS, X thought they were all conspiring against him, because they reported to the court that X's "way" was detrimental to DS's behavior.
I can try to speak with him, but if I know X, he'll turn it around to make it like I am the mean mom who never lets DS do anything, and that it's a sign that DS should live with him.