easy way out -really?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2006
easy way out -really?
4
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 2:07pm

hello-
I was here a long time ago, feel I have no privacy at home and DH is so easily upset that I stay away alot, although these borads are so helpful-

Anyway- my post is this- how can anyone say-oh he/she just took the easy way out.
No such thing- if I stay I am so sad and lonely and I am not able to get those feelings back- I don't know how to feel love for DH- like romantic love- I just resent him more and more. If I leave or ask him to leave, its like- "I'm trying everything to make you happy- then you should be the one to leave" and he says or does things to make the kids say"mom - kiss dad because you love him"

I am so trapped-

Never say someone took the easy way out- plus he is in denial and knows I dont want him to touch me or expect me to act a certain way-I dont feel that affection and I told him so and I told him I dont know how to get that back-

So I am sad- :(
eve

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 7:35pm

The best way to avoid kissing someone you have not desire to kiss is:
A. Eat alot of garlic.
B. Fake a sneeze, preferabily on them.

Would you be happier with or with out him?

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 8:27pm

Well, suffice it to say that those who call splitting up the easy way out have never been where you are. If they had, they'd know better.

I suppose what's more important is how you feel about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 11:12pm

One thing that I have learned from my own splitting (almost done...) is that there are those who accept you despite the situation, and those who pass judgment. Those who pass judgment tend to be unhappy with their own lives and wish they had the gonads like you to do what would make them happy.

Making decisions that hurt other people is NOT an easy way out. However, staying in a hopeless situation and pretending to be happy is LYING. After much soul searching, I decided that for me, I could not lie any more. And although this has been far from easy, I am already a better mom and a better person than I was when I lived with my STBX.

Do what you must. Think hard and think long, but then once you decide, do not look back. You are not alone!

Hugs!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 1:53pm
I'd have to say I disagree with walking away being the "harder" thing to do. From the opposite end of things it is harder to stick around, go to therapy and try and save your marriage and family. It's easier to leave the emotional burden and responsibilities on your spouse while you go on with your life and they are stuck with a million questions. It might make a person who leaves feel better to know that it's hard what they are going through but it is nothing compared to being left, being cheated on or being abandoned.