emotions of divorce
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emotions of divorce
| Tue, 12-05-2006 - 10:14am |
I was wondering if you could help me understand the emotions that one faces when considering a divorce ? I realize that no two people are alike, but just trying to be understanding to a friend who is considering it.
Do you go through a phase where you feel like you want the divorce, but cannot go through with it due to moral, guilt and comittment issues? Do you pull away from everyone, including your friends to try and sort it all out. Do you back down and just feel like you are going to settle and stay in the marriage no matter what ?
Thanks Very Much !

I can only speak for myself, but here's how it was for me:
I wanted the divorce, but did feel very guilty about destroying my kids' family. That went on for a very long time. I finally told my ex, and while I felt relieved, I also felt scared about how it would all turn out. Even though I was the one who wanted it, when my ex moved out things went really crazy for me. I was so distraught at the finality of the loss of our family that I spent whole days crying, anxiety so bad that every 15-20 minutes throughout my day I would have to stop and breathe because I felt like I was going to panic. I couldn't sleep, and would call one of my closest friends at 5 am when I would wake up with emotional pain so bad I prayed to God to please PLEASE just let me die.
Since I was the one who asked for it, I felt like I deserved the pain I was in. My sister was there and listened to me even when I was being irrational about all of it. When I once apologized to her for being so crazy, that I shouldn't be upset when I was the one who asked for the divorce, she simply said "OF COURSE you're going to be crazy for a while. It may be a little annoying but it's perfectly understandable."
Your friend is about to jump on one hell of a roller coaster. Just be as understanding as you can and realize she very well may be nuts for a while. The good news is that it does pass. As the weeks and months go by, she'll likely settle down and start seeing the good in the decision she made.