The End is Near.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2006
The End is Near.....
4
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 5:46pm
Well, after almost a year of bitter battles, pregnant OW, first time sleep overs for DS and other various other stbx BS...my attorney tells me today that stbx has set a court date of 7/18. He says that there is no real upside to our (mine and my attorney) going to court...we have a signed property settlement agreement, so basically this is an uncontested divorce. I'd have to pay for my attorney's time and for court. Whereas stbx will have to drive 2 hours up here to go to court, pay HIS attorney to go and for the court costs. Soooo, I'm saying let him do it. I've FINALLY moved on to dating and will welcome the closure...so why do I feel like another shoe is going to drop on or around the 18th of this month?
Is there a bomb that will go off when it is "FINAL" and I'll be an emotional wreck all over again?
I feel so completely different than last summer, when I was an emotional wreck, understandably so...I have come a loooong way and don't want to look back...I feel like myself again, after all of this time...I've found someone who makes me feel wonderful about myself and deservedly so...I feel so good...is there a "come down" coming?
All of you whom have been here, weigh in, please? Do I need to prepare for a "Boo-Hoo fest" and block out some days or will this too just pass?
ANY advice will help me...thanks girls.
Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 7:14pm
My divorce was final on June 15. I didn't see it coming. My ex hadn't shown up for the last 3 court appearances, so I thought this would be the same. Well, he showed up. And the judge went ahead with the divorce. Our settlement is still not final, we go back to court July 16. Mainly child support issues, the ex doesn't want to part with his money.
Anyway, that day I had to go back to work. The last place I should have been. We had been going through this divorce for almost 2 years, but it still hit me hard. I wanted out of this marriage, but the emotions that come when it is final are unbelievable. I ended up working an hour overtime that day, came home, cried, drank a few beers, cried and screamed and Saturday I was ok. Thank God my divorce was on Friday, I had the weekend!
I don't know if anyone can prepare emotionally when it is final, but I wish you the best! Just know that life is better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 10:13pm

Hey Lisa...


The actual divorce hits everyone differently... some who may have wanted it all along may be surprised to find they're sad on the acutal day... others who have been upset about it coming may find themselves as surprised to find out they're relieved on that day...


I would take at least that full day off work, if you do work... and spend the rest of the day doing something special for yourself... The day my divorce was final, I decided to meet up with my old college roommate--we talked all the time by phone, but rarely get the chance to see each other, so I spent the rest of the day with her... it was something for me to look forward to as that day was approaching.


I thought it was interesting that once the divorce was finalized, my xh wanted a hug from me... wth?

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2006
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 11:11am
Thanks Julie,
I wish I could take the day off of work. I'm only working part time in a summer camp for older 3 year olds from 1-6 (and they nap from 1-3) so I SHOULD be ok. I don't have to go to court, so its not like I'll have the drama of "going through" anything. I'm kind of glad that I don't have to do it. It think that would be harder. Court time is 8:30, so I'll just know that at about 9 AM, give or take, it should be over and that will be that. I'll get my papers in the mail from my attorney. I am already lining up something to do that evening even if its just a cocktail with a girlfriend. I think it will help to have "a plan".
I think I would keel over if my stbx asked for a hug, I'm with you, got get it from "her" now...I'm done there...moved on and I'll get my hugs from my new guy...and my son.
Thanks again...I'll let you know how it pans out...Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 10:32pm
I never had to go to Court. Family Court is Delaware has made it so easy you basically just divorce by mail. We did this through out respective attorneys. We also split the property through a settlment agreement after much intimidation and games. To get to the point though, when I opened the letter from my attorney which contained my divorce decree I screamed YES, YES, YES. After 18 years of a physically, mentally and verbally abusive marriage I finally found the strength to get out. Even though I feel very lonely now (although he was rarely around) and am living with in 100 yards of him(for 25 more days), I feel a peace I have not felt in years. I started the marriage taking no pychotropic drugs and now I am on five. I forget to take my Xanax because of lack of anxiety until I talk to him. Immediately after we talk, if that is what you call it, I dive for the bottle of Xanax. Slowly, with less contact, this will change. But, my reation to the final divorce decree was not negative and I went out to a party and had a good time.