Everything happens for a reason......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Everything happens for a reason......
2
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 1:20pm

Hello Everyone,


I just need to vent real quick. I was married, well still am, and I was going through my last semester in school and this is the time were I really needed my husband the most. Since he has been back from Iraq he has left me 3 times and cheated twice, including posting nude pics of himself online, which was embarrassing. I forgive him because like all of you I believed in my marriage at such a young age, 21 at the time. I know I wasn't perfect in the marriage, but the fact is I believed in it, I believed in him, and I believed in us and our future together. He is not that attractive physically, but I fell in love with him, his soul and his spirit and that is what made him beautiful to me. When we were going through problems I developed a crush for my BF, but I told my husband because I felt that it was a problem that we could fix, but I Never cheated on him. He has tried to meet women for sex online and he left me last year and he said that he wasn't in love with me anymore. I was there for him for 18 months when he was in Iraq, and this is what I get. Now, he acts like he doesn't care about anything we had together. He is spoiled and immature. I love him family, especially my mother in law, but I cant bear to continue a relationship with them, know what he did to me. His family says that he is making a mistake, but he doesn't care. I know he has cheated on me but my divorce will be final soon and I just really feel like a failure, I feel like I failed myself and GOD because I wanted my marriage to work. But my STBX only thinks of himself and he said that he felt bad for a little bit but then he got over it and said that he is going to live his life. I recently graduated and moved to DC just so I can have a fresh start. But the closer my DD gets, the more horrible I feel. I just sometimes wish the pain could just go away and I just want to be happy. I just turned 24 and the one thing I have on my side is time, and no kids. I am just afraid to date and I just need sometime for me because I am truly deeply hurt about all of this. He just looks at me like I'm a friend and that's it. Why should I care, why do I care? Its been a year and half and I'm still not over it. Has anyone gong through these emotions? Does it get better? Sometimes I wish I can think like a man but we women are not designed that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 1:56pm

Write a bulleted list of all the reasons your marriage has ended.

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 5:02pm

I've got those feelings, but still living with STBX.