ex is being an #$%%^^
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:47pm |
So sad....ex is being so mean lately....going through a tough seperation agreement and have two kids. He just won't talk to me....it kills me cause I am trying to keep the lines open but his anger spews everywhere making everything difficult! I'm being totally nice..figure it pisses him off more to be nice but I still feel that I am kept in the dark. My mother has sided with him and has completely told me off. Oh, the things that don't kill ya huh?
Lucky for me, I have met "the one" so it makes it a tad easier....
Curious, how do i reach him? Do I wait for papers to arrive as I have and pass the kids off with no comment? It kills me that I don't know where they are going when they are with him.....
Trying to tell myself that everything happens for a reason but........

It just amazes me that people that haven't lived your life behind your closed doors can be so judgmental... and not recognize that many people lead very different lives "out of the limelight".
Yes, you do what you have to do so that there isn't any confrontation in front of the kids... and hope that once everything is "signed, sealed and delivered" and a routine is in place that he'll lighten up... and that your mom will come to terms that you are still her daughter.... she still has grandchildren.... and your EX will still be a part of "the family", just in a new way.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
wow, i can so relate to your story. my STBX is doing the same thing -- cruel "silent treatment." but unfortunately, in my case, it is hurting our twin DSs, who cannot process or negotiate their father's poor decision to withdraw from THEM ... don't understand. but i desperately try not to focus on his "man-boy" behavior, and do MY job because our children deserve at least ONE parent who exercises maturity, stability, loving interaction, and integrity.
i know it may hurt that "seemingly" your mother is taking your ex's side, but in essence, she is YOUR mother, and will always have your back, unconditionally. cling to your support network because you will need it more than ever.
in the interim, relative to dealing with the "angry ex", send e-mails (wonderful for documentation that you're keeping him in the loop regarding the children). if he chooses not to respond, that's "documentation," too. the plus is that it is in WRITING. continue your pleasant, positive tone, yet, be clear and concise. if you must call and get VM, like i ALWAZ do, do the same as if you'd send an e-mail. indeed, the professionalism we exhibit as strong Moms drive many of our EXs insane because it's ultimately a matter, in their eyes, a bold act of rebellion to their controlling nature; after all, we're supposed to openly display devastation and emotional instability and cry uncontrollably every time we speak with them, as a result of their absence
not knowing where your bunchkins are is unacceptable; let your attorney know this. but in the back of your head and in your heart, know that this is the one other person that you'd 100 percent trust your babies with (their dad), so that should bring some solace regarding concerns for their safety and wellbeing.
i'm so not waiting for the papers to arrive cause my STBX feels he's getting off with not paying interim CS because he "promises" to initiate the papers. but next month, when i get my big check and can give my attorney her retainer, i'm moving and getting a foothold on those papers myself -- got a feeling the silent treatment will quickly turn into "scream treatment" ...
hugs!!
p.s., congrads on "the one" ... just take it slow & use protection--for your heart!