Ex divorced me while on Chemo Thearpy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Ex divorced me while on Chemo Thearpy
3
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 7:56pm
five yrs ago my ex divorced me while on Chemo Thearpy. I now live alone and on disability. I am 54 yrs young. I have 2 daughters 13 and 16 the joy of my life. At the time of the divorce I really didnt think I would make it out alive since I was very sick, so I gave ex main custodianship. I lived on a ranch 40 acres with cattle a 2 story ranch house the whole nine yards, I now live in a small mobile home in a nearby city. I have tried not to hate my ex, but I hate him to the point of replusion. I think about him everyday and how he can go on living a happy life, and Im stuck with no money left over from SS check and hardly any money to pick up my girls and drive them where they need to go. He has taken them to Yellowstone , and the Grand Canyon, has bought a new conversion van and the list goes on. Of course I am better off without him but I cant get over these angry feelings about my ex. Sometimes when the girls come over it seems to be worse, of course I never say anything and the feelings go away around Sat. when they come over. I know they dont care if I live in a little mobile home as long as they can be with me, it's my problem, and I am having a hard time still after all these years. I have been hurt so bad , I have a abdonment problem. I am so afraid of being left again. I started a relationship with a nice man about 2 mos. ago, and thou I really like him and he likes me and the girls I have a hard time opening my heart to anybody. I love my girls so much, I have been robbed of being with them when they were younger and now they seem to have everything with their father I cant give them. The worst part is my ex knows this, he is a cop and a very coldhearted person. Obbvisiously, Is there anyone that can give me some advice about coping with all this. BTW I feel good and healthy except I am not in Remission but my Liver doctor says my outlook is good and maybe not need a liver transplant anytime soon. Sorry for the long post.
Jackie in East Texas
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 10:32pm

Jackie,

That really sucks. I am sorry that you have been through so much. It sounds to me like you need to seek some counseling and to find a way to work through your unresolved feelings about your ex-husband. I would start there and I bet you will feel better about you.

Pam

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 2:22pm

I'm glad that your health is maintaining itself right now and that you feel good.... that's important.


You know..... I just KNOW that Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon... and a big house full of stuff does not hold a flame to what you..... YOU.... offer your children in pure, simplicity and strength.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 5:01pm

I am so sorry for what you are going through.


I actually know this first hand.... My father left my mother when she was 2 years into the disease. He left her for his high school sweetheart that he met again online. My mother took it SO HARD. She attempted suicide 3 times, has been in the hospital for depression, began drinking HEAVILY ( moreso than before ) and a whole lot of bad stuff happened.....


I can't even imagine going through that. I can only say I'm sorry that there are men out there that are so selfish that when their wives get sick and attention goes towards them instead of the men..... they run. My father did.... he never looked back.


CONGRATS for feeling great! That's awesome. I pray that things go well from here on out. A new beginning.... never an ending and yes, everything happens for a reason.


Hugs to you and good luck with everything.


If you ever need anything, please email me.


Angelena