Ex Does and Doesn't
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Ex Does and Doesn't
| Tue, 06-20-2006 - 11:46pm |
I am recently divorced, just this April. It was his idea, not mine. I am just starting to finally move on, and all of the sudden he wants to try to work things out. A little late I would say. I miss him and I still talk to him, but it's killing me. I've remained friends with him, but now I'm thinking that wasn't such a good idea. I've literally made my self sick over his indecision. One minute he wants a divorce, the next he's regretting it. He had a girlfriend, but she broke up with him. I'm thinking I need to stop talking to him and just move on. Is anyone else going through this? I want to believe him that he's had a change of heart, but I think I would be a fool to. I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me the last year of our marriage. I'm thinking the only reason he suddenly wants to come back is because his relationship with this other girl has ended. Just like to hear what anyone else has to say on this.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hugs! It's tough. My STBX wanted to be friends afterwards too... but I've always known that I just can't do it. Part of me wants to see him taken care of and wants to take care of him, but it's shrinking by the day. The less I contact him, the more clearly I see things and the easier it gets to stay away from him.
Some people can remain friends, but for me, that's not possible. I can't go back to pretending I didn't intimately know this person. Even if we had kids, I'd keep it business-like. Thankfully, we don't.
Why not take some time off? Don't communicate w/ him for a couple weeks and see how you feel.
In my case, the divorce was my STBX's idea too, not mine. I was willing to work on him, and like you, I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me the last few months. It's been about a month seperated now, and if I had to say anything to him, I would THANK HIM for freeing me from the nightmare those last few months were!
I remember the good times, and value them for just what they were - good times. I liked being married and being a partner, but I now see he hasn't been a partner for a LONG time. So whenever I start to feel like I want him back, or we can reconcile, I think back on the disrespect I endured over the last few months... and that usually turns it off!
I am confident I'll have even MORE good times in the future w/o him. :) I refuse to be the "fall back girl".
For me - marriage was a 1 way street. Quiting was not an option. For me, divorce is also a one way street.
- JD
- J. Darling
Singehttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v244/JDarling/Headshots/Picture001.jpgr, Songwriter, Author for Celebr
I think you nailed it. I think his girlfriend dumped him and now he's looking to fill the void taht is left. Please move on. You two are divorced, get out there and live your life without him. You are free to explore options in the world, don't be tied down to a man that may have cheated on you, that has hurt you in the last year, that wanted to divorce you and now all of a sudden now has had a change of heart now only when he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore.
Seriously. Start looking forward and stop looking back.