Ex filed for cs modification, etc
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| Sat, 05-20-2006 - 9:53am |
My ex and I live in different states. He takes the kids (9 & 15yr old) to his house for summer, Spring Break, over Christmas, etc. This year he called me and said that this year for Spring Break he wanted to come up here with his mother to visit with them in their town so he could meet their friends, etc. I thought that that was a great idea and went so far as to set up a time where my son and my ex could play basketball with my son’s best friend and his dad. At that time I was in the process of buying a home and my ex knew all about this. Well, come to find out, the ex’s reason for coming up here was NOT to meet the kids friends but to hire an attorney for cs modification, to reconfigure and reduce the monthly amount he pays towards the back child support he owes me ($12,000), as he is now saying after two years of paying on it, that the amount of back child support was miscalculated in my favor and my attorney and I forced him into agreeing to that amount and to discontinue the $50 a week he pays me in alimony. He filed these papers on March 26 and then never said a word. He let me go through the whole process of buying a house, calculating my mortgage payments by the amount of current cs knowing there could be a chance that it may be reduced but not letting me know this. I closed on my house on April 21, graduated college on May 12th with an AS and I was served court papers on May 17th. My ex talked to the kids repeatedly after he filed this law suit against me about their excitement about their new home, how they were going to each paint their new rooms, moving closer to their friends, etc all the while their father remained quiet, like a snake in the grass, waiting to strike and hit me up with this information which may affect my ability to pay this mortgage. After being served, I told my ex that he was hurting his children as well as me and I based my mortgage on my cs and he could have had the decency to inform me about his actions BEFORE I got into this mortgage and he said “get a second job”.
Has anyone gone through cs modification? At this time, I make $7,000 more annually than I did at the time of the divorce and he makes $5,000 more annually than he did at the time of the divorce. Also, if he thought the amount of back cs was miscalculated why did he wait two years to say anything? In addition, he is getting remarried on June 24, 2006 and they are paying for it by themselves. I am going to guess that this expense is causing stress between him and his new bride, so they are attempting to reduce my payments to fund their wedding and lifestyles. He condemns me and says “you bought that house with MY money” “I can’t afford to buy a house bc I give you half of my paycheck” and “if you can afford to buy a house then I must be paying you too much in cs”. He makes decent money and pays $500 per child. He said “it does not cost $1000 a month to raise children”. I’m wondering how he would know that since I have had full custody of them for 6 years. Oh yeah he also said “you better watch your sh** or I’ll sue you for full custody of the kids”. Oh, one more thing, he told me that his mother paid for the whole Spring Break trip, she drove, she paid for all meals, gas, bed and breakfast AND his attorney fees. Nice. My 15yr old daughter is the one who signed for the certified letter with the court documents, so she knows about this and he said “I had no right to tell her about any of this and I am trying to make him out to be the bad guy”.
Any comments? I feel the way he went about filing for these adjustments without telling me while he KNEW I was buying a house was 100% deceitful, sneaky and deviously scheming to hurt me. Unfortunately, by hurting me, he also hurts his kids. I also feel he is just beside himself with jealousy bc I have purchased a home and graduated college, and he has done neither and he can’t stand it. His repeated comments reinforce this thought. I told him I needed a new roof for the home (I live in Hurricane Katrina area) and I was just about to schedule this with the roofer and now I have to put that on hold to hire an attorney so now his children will not have a safe roof over their heads when hurricane season starts on June 1st and he said "at least you own a roof”. Roof envy? This to me just screams envy of my accomplishments. He can say that he can not buy a home bc he gives me half of his paycheck but it is really bc of his credit. I get phone calls and letters all the time from debt collectors, collection agencies, attorneys, etc looking for him. I know that he had his car reposessed in 2004, he has delinquent debts with credit cards, cell phones, and he rented an apartment and then ducked out on the lease half way through it. And these are just the debts I know about, I’m sure there are more. So the reason he can not buy a home is bc he is irresponsible with his money and finances. Hypothetically, if he paid me more than I actually needed each month to raise these children and I saved the extra and bought a nice home for them to grow up in, is that so wrong? What do you think a judge would say about my actions? Should I be punished for buying a house with cs? Well, actually, I found a program that lets you finance your closing costs into your mortagage, so I bought a three bedroom house and paid $464.00 at closing. THATS IT!! My fool ex doesn't know this but that is all I paid to get into a house. If I had rented something, I would have had to shell out first, last and secuirty, however, where I live bc of Hurricane Katrina, rentals are few and far between and the rental prices have skyrocketed bc of demand, and that is why I chose to buy.
I welcome your comments.
hbean

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Probably but usually when people file court papers they don't like to tip their hand so of course he wasn't going to be on the up and up and let you know ahead of time. I wouldn't be all worried about it. Was your child support miscalculated previously? If it wasn't then I wouldn't worry about it.
Envious because you are buying a home? Probably. You are allowed to have a home. You are allowed to buy things. Just becuase he can't, doesn't mean a thing. I wouldn't get into pissing matches with him and I wouldn't get into them with your daughter she loves you both, she's right in that aspect you should really leave her out of it.
If I understand your post correctly he owes you 12,000 in back child support, he wants it reduced because he says it was miscalculated back then, but now he makes more money then he did then. I don't know that this is going to matter much to a judge, if he's making more money now then he did then, its not really going to matter to a judge that he's now married. He's got more means now to pay you, I could see them maybe reducing what he pays you if he was making LESS money but if he's making more I don't know that they would say, oh okay you don't want to pay it okay. I wouldn't worry about it too much, just go talk to your lawyer and don't get into verbal altercations with him.
Wow, he's a little bitter, huh?? I have a similar situation, only smaller scale. I bought a car (used). I had a '97 Toyota Camry that was paid for. It was a
I think.... if he agreed to pay you the 12K.... that's probably a done deal that won't be changed.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi, hhbean! I think for the most part, unless you and your attorney PURPOSELY falsified information to have child support calculated differently, I really wouldn't worry about it. I have seen a few cases where child support was lowered, but usually
Hi,I am a "long time lurker" first time poster. I saw your post and just wanted to jump in and tell you a couple of things that might ease your mind. I worked for a family law attorney for 6 years as a paralegal in Texas. We saw this sort of nonsense plenty of times with our clients.
First, the $12,000 he owes you for back child support. It's not YOUR fault it was mis-calculated, if in fact it was. Second, apparently he has been a "dead beat Dad" long enough to rack up $12K in back child support, so that is one strike against him with the judge!
Second, this whole thing could work in your favor. Remember, a lot of attorneys take cases and they know they don't have a chance to win, but the petitioner wants to move forward, so they take their money and go to court. He may be counting on you to "agree" and come to "terms" outside the presence of a court hearing. Don't do it. Go to court and let the judge hear the case.
This could all end up backfiring on him big time! He has had an increase in pay, so you can counter-claim and ask at that time for cs to be increased. Your attorney can ask for his tax returns and pay stubs to determine that. Next, it is HIGHLY unlikely that the judge will reduce the $12K he owes for back cs. Futhermore, since he has had an increase in pay, the judge could possibly order him to pay and increased amount on the back cs because he now has more "disposable income" than he had before. Since he is the person who brought suit against you, your attorney can ask, and more than likely than not, the judge will order him to pay YOUR attorney fees!
What you do, as far as providing a home for your kids, has nothing to do with whether he has to pay child support or not. He doesn't control what or where you live as long as you can afford it! And, let's not forget, he helped bring these kids into the world, so maybe he should re-consider remarrying and take care of the responsibilites of his children first! That's what the judge will tell him. Maybe he should be the one to consider getting a second job to get the $12K paid off!
I don't think you have a thing to worry about...further...if he doesn't want your kids to know about his back handed ways...maybe he should be a "man" and tell them himself instead of leaving all the "surprises" for you to deal with.
I hope all goes well for you.
Hi got2bkidding!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange....
Thanks for the welcome! I am glad to be here. I am not much into the he said/she said stuff, but I do like offering whatever advice I can to those about the "legal/court side" of things. I am NOT an attorney, but I should have been! :)
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