ex has gone too far
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| Tue, 12-19-2006 - 7:15pm |
I'm sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place. I haven't been on this board for a long time since my divorce has been final for three years now. But I've always gotten good advice here before and hope you can help me again.
DS is 9, DD is 6. I have always just told them that their dad and I didn't get along, the divorce wasn't their fault, and tried to leave it at that. I didn't think it was appropriate to discuss with them that their dad cheated on me, was physically abusive to both me and them, has psychiatric issues, etc. Their dad has told them that he has no idea whatsover why I left him, that he and I were always happy, we never fought, etc. I had confronted him about this in the past, and he insisted that was true, and he had every right to tell the kids that. In his mind, he truly believes that he never cheated or hit me.
Well, his latest girlfriend dumped him last week, so he called and told me that since I was still single, obviously I couldn't do any better than him, so I should do the reasonable thing and get back together with him. I declined. He got mad.
This past weekend, he told the kids that he tried to get back together to me and I refused because I just didn't want him and the kids to be happy. He also told DS that he had finally found out why I had left him - because I had to get out of the state because the police were looking for me! He also told them that if they came to live with him, they wouldn't have to do chores, they could stay up later, etc. and that if I really loved them, I wouldn't work as much as I do and would spend more time with them. The kids of course are terribly upset and confused. I have told them it wasn't true, (the part about me being wanted by the police) but they don't know what to believe.
To top it off - he is supposed to pick them up Christmas Day and keep them until they go back to school in January. Who knows what he will tell them while they are there.
How am I supposed to handle this?

Hi~
You handle it by being consistent.... and fair.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~