ex interfering with dating
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ex interfering with dating
| Sat, 07-23-2005 - 11:55pm |
Hi everyone,
I haven't posted in a while but have been healing very well with my divorce. It wont be final until Sept. and the ex has been living with his girlfriend for the past three months. The issue is that I have finally gone out on a date with a nice guy whom my husband knows of and it turns out he found out. We had a great time! Well, needless to say,he had a fit and even went as far as to call this guy and tell him we were still married and that we were working things out! NOT TRUE!!!!! He has been doing all he can to sabatoge my new life and it really pi**** me off! I am looking for any suggestions or how to handle this. I called him one night, (the ex) and let him have it, telling him to stay out of my personal life, etc. But he has it in his head that he and I will get back together. In the meantime he is still with this other woman, torn between us he says. What a load of crap, what I know is that I will never be with him again and would like to go out with this other guy again,but worried he is going to stay away from me for fear of the crazy ex! I haven't spoke with him in a week . I have no doubt in my mind of anything ever happening between me and the ex and I just want to move on with my life and that includes dating, etc. So, if anyone has any advice or experiences I would love to hear from you. Very frustrating!!!!! ARGHHH!!!
I haven't posted in a while but have been healing very well with my divorce. It wont be final until Sept. and the ex has been living with his girlfriend for the past three months. The issue is that I have finally gone out on a date with a nice guy whom my husband knows of and it turns out he found out. We had a great time! Well, needless to say,he had a fit and even went as far as to call this guy and tell him we were still married and that we were working things out! NOT TRUE!!!!! He has been doing all he can to sabatoge my new life and it really pi**** me off! I am looking for any suggestions or how to handle this. I called him one night, (the ex) and let him have it, telling him to stay out of my personal life, etc. But he has it in his head that he and I will get back together. In the meantime he is still with this other woman, torn between us he says. What a load of crap, what I know is that I will never be with him again and would like to go out with this other guy again,but worried he is going to stay away from me for fear of the crazy ex! I haven't spoke with him in a week . I have no doubt in my mind of anything ever happening between me and the ex and I just want to move on with my life and that includes dating, etc. So, if anyone has any advice or experiences I would love to hear from you. Very frustrating!!!!! ARGHHH!!!

Really? I had not heard this Dr. Laura perspective before. As a child who's mother waitied until I was grown to find someone, I disagree with Dr. Laura on this. Of course you don't want to settle for someone that is not good to you and your son. But I really missed out on having a model of what being a married couple was supposed to be like. My mom had two serious boyfriends while I was growing up, and neither was allowed around us much. The only role model I had was strong independant single mother taking care of the children, and so I grew up and became the strong independant wife who took care of her grown-teenager-like husband.
I would like to meet someone and marry again, and I would like to have at least one more child, so I personally am not going to put off dating until my dd is grown. If I don't find someone that is right for both of us, I am fine being single the rest of my life if that is what is meant to be. But if I can find someone that will be a good, supportive husband and a good step-father to my dd, I will not pass that opportunity up. I would really like dd to know what it is like to be part of a healthy marriage. I don't think she's going to learn that from her father even if he does remarry.
First,
I have no desire to have another child, I'm going to be 46 and don't care to try to do things by "artificial or heroic" means. I have one chance with my boy to make this right while I'm here on earth. Probably most women on this board are younger than I and have more than one child or have that opportunity. I have had one shot by the grace of God and if I have to stay single for the rest of my life to give him the best life has to offer - I'll do that.
Good luck to you.
>>>I have had one shot by the grace of God and if I have to stay single for the rest of my life to give him the best life has to offer - I'll do that-.<<<
If I had to stay single to give my dd the best life I would do it to, all I'm saying based on my own childhood my mom staying single didn't give me the best life had to offer. What my mom did and what I hope to do has no bearing on what is right for you and your son. I wish you the best as well.
well, there are two separate issues here.
first - you have to put an end to your STBX's contol over you. stop calling him, stop discussin things with him, even if its just to tell him to 'get out of your life' - i mean it! just don't have anything to do with him. if you have kids together - then you discuss the kid stuff but you don't allow him to get into A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G personal AT ALL. you have to go cold turkey on this, he is not going to be reasonable or grown up about this so YOU will have to take control.
second, it is my opinion, and i am know that i am in a minority here, that you actually ARE married and you SHOULDN'T be dating. its not like you are saying that the divorce is going to take three years, you are talking about a few months. in the meantime, take time for yourself, go out with friends, etc but don't start with the one-on-one dating until you are, in fact, LEGALLY divorced. this is my opinion. it doesn't really matter what HE is doing - you have to worry about yourself.