Ex-our son has no father because of me..
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| Mon, 07-11-2005 - 11:41am |
Well ladies,
the a--hole has really done it now. The last time my has saw our son was Father's Day. He took him that saturday evening and kept him overnight. Since then he cancelled on him twice. Friday night he calls me at 9:30pm asking if he could get him on Saturday. Ive told him more than once to ask me at least 2 days in advance b/c I make plans. My girlfriend invited us to a church picnic on sat. She paid for the tickets and everything. So I told him wow, I have plans already. Then he started getting an attitude saying why dont I cancel and let him have the baby. (Now Ive done that for him a few times already and he acted like it was no big deal) so I told him no I want to take him b/c he will have kids his age to play with. then I said how about we compromise, I dont expect it to be an all day thing, when I get back I can call you and you can pick him up then. He got ridiculous saying I always have him and he can never get him when he wants him and Im keeping him from the baby. I said now your lying, just stop it. He was going on and on about how he's his father and he's supposed to come first etc. Then he says he will just go to court and he hung up. Fine, I went on about my business.
Then he calls me back a bit later saying how now he knows the reason my niece and nephew dont have father's is b/c of their mother's and Im doing the same thing and he's coming to my house then he says excuse me Im coming to your job to get the extra copy of baby's birth certificate. I told him dont come to my job he said watch me and hung up. I called him back, his grandmother answered, told him to pick up the phone, he was like its too late to call my house, dont call my house this late and hung up again. I was steaming. I waited about 15min, called him back and said I still have a restraining order against you, if you come to my job there will be trouble, he was like what, what, I repeated it again and hung up the phone.
About a half hour later he called back I answered he said he just wants to leave a message, doesnt want to talk to me b/c I wont let him finish. I said why are you acting like this, cant we just talk like adults, he said he's gonna hang up so I just did it. He leaves a very long message. The point of it was that I always keep the baby from him and I did this same thing last year around this time and it was b/c of me that he had his twins. He knows he cant replace his first born son but he can sure as hell have another one and that's what he will do, have another one because of me, so now he has his girls and I can keep our son, he's not going to court b/c he doesnt believe in the court system and wont stoop to my level. Telling me how if he wants his girls he dont even have to ask their mother, she delivers them to him if he cant pick them up, she doesnt keep them from him like me. So I only have myself to blame that our son wont have a father and if I want to change his last name to mine I can go ahead since I probably hated the fact that he had his last name. And he hung up.
Who gives a crap anymore. I so sick and tired of him and his blame game. He doesnt want to be a father, so what. Him having more kids wont affect me at all. He's gonna be the one with no money at all. LOL. Maybe this time he will have triplets, all girls lol. He's a JERK AND A LOSER. He is obviously not a real man.
Anyway my ex from a few years ago, we've been keeping in contact, thinking about maybe starting things up again once his divorce is final and he said he will be my son's father if I will have him. So Ha! I do have other options.

Sounds to me like your ex is having trouble adjusting to the idea that you're no longer willing to be at his beck and call. So he's trying everything in his arsenal to manipulate you back into behaving the way he wants you to act. I'm so proud of you for not giving in to his ridiculous attempts at guilt tripping and empty threats. It might be a good idea to keep a journal of all visitation related occurrences just in case he ever follows through on his threat to take you to court. But I think on some level he must know how ridiculous he's being as he so quickly gave up the pretense that he was going to follow through on his threats. And I can't believe he can even manage to spit out that you're responsible for him having twins without choking on it - you physically forced him to have sex with her without contraception, did you? LMAO.
-sang
Luvred I am SO PROUD OF YOU! WAY TO GO!
Sang is right, he is realizing that you aren't playing anymore, ANYTHING he says is a complete "line" from this point on.
Don't even worry about him and his "threats" wait until they happen, he's just blowin smoke.
Hugs hon and again, I am SO PROUD OF YOU!
Angelena
Way to go! Wow, I am proud of you - a couple of months ago conversations like that would have had you in tears, and now you are not only in total control, but laughing! Good for you! His threats are totally stupid. What a goof.
:)
L
Browngirlie,
You are so right. It would have had me in TEARS..... for sure. It feels so goooood to be stronger. I could have done it without the help of all you wonderful special women in my life.
HUGS TO ALL OF YOU
:)
L
"Friday night he calls me at 9:30pm asking if he could get him on Saturday. Ive told him more than once to ask me at least 2 days in advance"
I don't think you've heard the last from this volatile young man. When he calls on a Friday to ask for his son, say,
"Let's see, 48 hours notice means you would like to pick son up on Sunday night. Is that right? Or was it Monday you wanted him?"
Some people just don't understand English. For them, you have to keep driving your point home, again and again and again...
I think sang hit the nail on the head - he's freaking out that he can't manipulate you to his advantage any more. It must be driving him nuts! He's probably realizing that it won't be too long before the twin's mom wises up too. And then the idea of making even more babies is his way of planning ahead because he's thinking he'll only have multiple women at his beck and call if he keeps impregnating them. Talking about digging yourself a deeper grave! LOL.
You'll have the easiest explanation for your son why his dad never came around. Honey, your dad had 24 children and the most he could get any of them was every other weekend. The challenge of keeping up with the schedules and the court dates was so great, plus he was still trying to date 5 of the mothers, one day his head just exploded.
Seriously though, once it sinks in that you aren't going back to letting him walk all over you, he just might try and re-establish some kind of routine with his son. It's like a toddler that hasn't been given any rules and suddenly the parents try to set boundaries. The child kicks and screams and throws the mother of all temper tantrums just knowing at some point the parents will give in, and then when they stand their ground, the child eventually gives in and decides to live by the new rules.