Ex putting stipulations on boyfriend.
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| Thu, 06-19-2008 - 10:47pm |
I don't know if this is the best place to post this, if it's not, please direct me to the right one, but I thought I would start here.
My ex and I have five kids. We have both moved on and are both engaged to someone else. My man lives with me and we are very happy. Here is the problem..my oldest son (11) likes to get sympathy from my ex and his new fiance by complaining about the discipline he receives here with me and my fiance. My fiance shares my need for a clean house and does not expect anything unreasonable from my kids. He does discipline them in the form of certain military exercises that are not only good for them, but help them remember to follow the rules. My ex told me that my fiance does not have the right to discipline the kids. I told him that he (my ex) does not have jurisdiction in my home and cannot tell us what we can and cannot do here. He threatened to call a lawyer, blah, blah, blah. Has anyone been through this or have any in-put? My kids aren't being mistreated, and I would be the first to call somone on it if they were ever mistreating them. Call it the mommy alarm or whatever...
It seems my son is just pulling the "I can use this situation to my benefit" card.

Glam, I hate to say this, but your fiance does NOT have the right to discipline your kids.
Hi glamfatale,
I will be quite blunt here.
You are making two mistakes that will harm your children.
First, you are running from one marriage into another.
You might check out the Making a Second Marriage work board too.
Let me clarify here that he is not doing ALL the discipline in the house. *I* am in sole charge of child matters, but there are times when my fiance corrects my children if they don't listen. I believe in spanking my kids; however, the two older boys are getting a little too old to be spanked, in my opinion. Instead of a spanking, they might get something taken away, or have to do pushups. In regards to this whole military discipline matter, my children aren't being "dusted" if they have a speck of dirt on the baseboards of their rooms. I don't allow my children to be disrespectful to any adult. My getting into another marriage has nothing to do with the matter at hand. This man is not just some guy I am having a rebound with. He has been my best friend for the past 4 years. He loves me and my kids and treats us right.
My ex was neglectful to me and the kids. He lost two houses, didn't pay the garbage bill for over eight months,so this means we had eight months worth of garbage piling up in the back yard and had the health department called, the lights, water, and cable got turned off all the time.He had a job that paid him about $20 an hour, but we never had the money to pay bills. He was verbally abusive to me and the kids.
My fiance treats my kids like gold. He's not humiliating them or being cruel to them. I would NEVER let that happen, I dont' care what man it was. That is one of the reasons I left my ex.
This isn't directed at once specific post, but to all.
I am also one of those people who thinks that spanking is not a good idea.
Glam, you asked for input... the overwhelming response is that your boyfriend has no business disciplining your kids, particularly in that fashion.