Ex wants me to work more

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
Ex wants me to work more
5
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 12:22am

Just curious what you all think here...

Ex got a $20,000 per year pay cut.
I had full custody of 3year old and 9 year old, worked full time and went to college.

He quit paying ALL child support and thought I should quit school and work more to make up for his pay cut. He suggested I waitress at night instead of school in addition to my day job (I get a grant so school is free).

I told him since HE got the pay cut then HE needs to find additional income not me. I also suggested he get a night job, (maybe a waiter job) or get a roommate, but he refused, and said his girlfriend is roommate.

What do you think? Would you quit school to work more so he can pay less child support??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 2:36am

call your lawyer.
Child support is mandated by the judge and is owed to you. It may need to be re-adjusted according to his paycut - but I would bet it will not be a groundbreaking adjustment.

http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html here are child support guidelines for the US, many states provide calculation sheets based on yearly income of both parents. Have a look, and see how his payments may be reviewed.

I would not even consider stopping school to get a night job - you would be cutting off your future perspectives. Keep it up!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 7:35am

No way in H-E-double toothpicks would I quit anything because XH told me to! You need to do what's right for you. It's not YOUR fault that he took a pay cut!

My XH left a job willingly and had to take a much lower paying one.... He actually had the cahones to GUESS my salary and then recalculate CS based on his lower salary and my estimated one. When I got the check for less than half of our agreed-upon amount, I called my lawyer who wrote him a nasty-gram telling him that if he wanted CS revisited, that was fine.... go through proper channels. I got the rest of that month's CS within days and he's never broached it again.

Next time he brings it up, just smile and say "Thank you for telling me."

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 7:54am

Hbean,


One word answer to your question: NOPE.


Your education will do more for your future earnings than any night waitress job. Plus, consider you may be paying tuition if you quit now and go back later. Your ex is just trying to skirt his responsibilities to support his children. Don't quit school. Talk to your attorney or get one about reinstating child support. In some states he has no choice. Do what you have to to get him to pay.


Good luck.


CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 12:13pm

This is probably a legal issue.

Since his salary was reduced, he is probably eligable to seek relief with respect to his child support payments. The child support levels that where established were based on the income, assetts and debts at the time of the divorce. If there is a signficant change in any one of these, either party can seek re-evaluation.

Presuming he can provide adequate documentation that his salary is at a lower level, he can petition the local child support enforcement agency (or who ever actually collects and distributes the money) to re-evaluate the support situation. The likely outcome is that his child support payment schedule will be reduced to a lower monthly payment.

If this happens, it means you will either need to make more income, or lower your standard of living.

In your shoes, I'd say nothing to provoke him. He sounds a little ignorant. If he stops support payments on his own, he is in contempt and is therefore liable for the payments. If you antagonize him, he may get sufficiently interested enough to learn about his legal remedies for his situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 2:35pm

No way would I quit school under any circumstances.... like you said, it's free... and it's your avenue to making more money yourself... which will benefit your child.


He's screwing himself by not paying support as it's ordered.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~