Ex wife calling
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Ex wife calling
| Sun, 12-10-2006 - 1:11am |
To start things off I will give alittle back ground back in Agu of 05 my wife decided it was time for her cheat on me with a coworker of her's we split up on bad terms and in Sept. of 05 she gave me coustdy of our son whom at the time was 11 leaving our 10 yr old daughter with her. We have sence gotten divorced and it was finale in July of this year our son remains in my coustdy and our daughter with her. During the time we were split up she very seldm had time for both of our children so I had them about 99% of the time. Sence the divorce she and I have hardly talked due to the fact of the man she is with today whom just happenes to be the same man that she cheated on me with. I have moved on with my life and have a very fine lady in my life today. But sence the divorce she has had our son on every other weekend and I the same with our daughter. But tonight My ex calls out of the blue to tell me that our son said that there were going to be charges filed against her and her boyfriend because our son desided to punch her wals because he got in to trouble and was sent to bed. Now on one hand her boyfriend has a past with abuse on his ex and also child endangerment. I know that our son has a temper but to what control do I have over him at hismoms home. I am at a loss for words on this and dont really know what to do. I know that there has to be something going on for our son to act this way but why is she calling me to tell me whats going on at her house I mean all she is showing me is she cant handle the sittuation. sry for the vent.

ouch!!! no wonder you are worried!
If I understand correctly, there are no actual charges - just the child menacing her mom... right?
I'd say that your son is definitely picking up some violent vibes around. Also, something or someone gave him the idea of legal pursuit - never heard a child taking off like this!!!
WOuld you be able to take temporary charge of both children for a time? I find scary that a man with a past such as your ex new bf is leaving with your daughter... how does your ex sees it? is the menace scary for her, or does she find it absurd? would she welcome seeing the child only alone, or leaving you custody of both?
Your son - now 13 right? - is becoming a teen - it isn't the easiest time. Answering back, acting up is quite common, but I feel it is important for your children that you and your ex find a way to face this together as parents.
There are no charges and I think more so as its my children testing my ex with what they can get away with and what not. My son is 12 years old this year and my daughter is 11. The man that I am talking about is my exwifes b/f. I am not sure where my son may have heard about the legal position on this unless he has just heard people talking about stuff I try not to say to much about my ex when the kids are around. But when things were just starting with divorce proceedings, there might have been something said about how the BF had previous charges before ex and him got together. So with all talk before hand and the way my ds was really upset with the split up, he might have thought that something like that could happen. Also, I do know that he has heard something along the lines of ex's bf had better not lay a hand on my children when family members have spoken and not realized kids are listening in. My son lives with me since before the divorce but my daughter on the other hand lives with my ex.
Now as for my ex dealing with the behavior. I think that my ex is just going to have to find a way to deal with all of this from the kids. At this point my son really doesn't have much respect for her or her b/f. That is something that they as a couple are going to have to work on getting from my son. I have been trying to make sure that both kids know that they need to live by her rules when they are at her house, just like they need to when they are at mine. For the past few weeks, ex and I have let the kids know that we are going to be co-parenting better than what we have prior to all of this. We are trying to make sure that they realize that we both do love them and want what is best for them.
As for temporary charge of the kids, that would take going through the courts and having some type of proof that he is abusing the kids. As of right now, I do not feel he is being abusive to my children. He is technically trying to teach them respect for their mother and him, and doesn't really do any discipling. He has rules, and the kids should follow them. Just like they follow rules in my home with my fiance and her children. Ex does the actual discipline with his suggestions, and sometimes he does have to remove my son from the face to face situation with my ex or things really escalate. I do feel they are trying to do what is right and even though it is the bf removing my son from situation (ex is not strong enough to remove my son). My son really seems to be testing his mom and her bf to see if they really are going to stick with things and maybe possibly see if the bf is going to stick with the calm manner or lose control.