Ex'es new GF might be DD's teacher? WWYD

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Ex'es new GF might be DD's teacher? WWYD
5
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 9:17pm

My ex works for the school system and can choose which teacher our kids have. I usually stay out of the choice because 1)he doesn't ask me my opinion and 2)I don't know any of them so I'm trusting his opinion. His new gf is a teacher at my daughter's school and dd said "dad said I might be in Angela's class next year". I don't want this to happen. His new gf is a psycho. According to another employee at the school, Angela (the gf) ran outside to "get a look" at me one afternoon when I came to pick up DD. When she saw me, she ran inside and started yelling at the office staff that they shouldn't call my ex out to talk to me, for any reason, because I "look better than (she) does". Since then, my ex has started bringing her around more and she's always giving me dirty looks and draping herself all over my ex in front of me (and at the most inappropriate places like DD's baseball game). She acts childish and nervous whenever I'm around. From what I hear, she's very threatened by the relationship my ex and I have (which is stupid) and the time we see each other. The scene she made at the school was so bad, she had to go in and have a conference with the Principal over it. My problem is 1)DD actually WANTS Angela to be her teacher, 2)my ex is going to make a big stink if/when I say NO to her teacher DD, 3)how do I talk to the Principal about this without seeming petty or overly dramatic? How can I phrase my concerns so it won't seem like this is just an issue between me and her. I really am concerned that DD is going to get caught in the middle of their relationship and either treated badly (if they break up) or singled out as teacher's pet (which can lead to a lot of teasing from other kids).

Thanks for any advice.

laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 9:34pm
Just approach the principal without your ex present and tell the principal you think it would be a conflict of interest and you don't want there to be one where your child is concerned seeing how your ex is seeing angela you do not want angela to be your dd's teacher due to the nature of your exes relationship with her so there isn't a conflict of interest but that you wish that the principal could make it appear that its HER decision so as not to cause animosity among you and your ex spouse in a coparenting situation. I would think that him dating this teacher he should understand this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 10:03am

I agree with Sally... it's a professional conflict of interest.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 12:29pm

Thanks for the input. I've been reluctant to go to the school because my ex works there and is well liked (for the most part). Because of this, I tend to be under the microscope when I go and everything from what I wear to how I walk is talked about. He's made me out to be a nutjob whore because I left him (apparently he thinks he's so great, you've got to be crazy to leave him).

Anyway, if I don't want to have to deal with Angela all next year, I'm going to have to buckle down and go in.

Thanks again
laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 12:42pm

Well, then show em what it really looks like under that microscope!


One thing that I have learned is that when someone has to talk about someone else to the extent that heads turn when that person is around.... people are looking in disbelief... for validation... because often all the talk is just unbelievable.


You're just a mom going to talk about your child... but I do think it's importnat for you to talk to your EX first to let him know that you're coming... and why.... heck, you might even ask him to participate in the meeting, too!


This isn't about you... it's about your child and what's best for her... and "space" to grow and learn is best!... and when that space can include you.... then that makes it even better.


Let us know how it goes... and good luck!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 2:06pm


Absolutely! In this case, I would definitely contact the principal about the situation. It is VERY unlikely that he/she would want to stir up a hornet's nest by placing