Ex's Anger- A real concern now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Ex's Anger- A real concern now.
5
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 1:15pm

Im so concerned about my ex's anger and him getting the baby for visitation soon. He flipped out pretty much in front of the mediator telling her how he hates me etc. There's been no history of abuse or anything with the baby. I feel I have to tell the referee when we go back to court on Dec. 16th about my concerns. With the mediation program they dont report anything to the judge unless there is an actual threat of physical harm during time of the mediation.

So Im left wondering will the judge/referee believe me because my ex will surely deny it. I dont want to aggravate things but it needs to be brought up. Have any of you guys had to deal with issues like this and if so, what did the judge do about it.

He is expecting that we will be able to still discuss him getting furniture back in mediaton during the next session and I told the mediation supervisor that I do not want to do that b/c he is verbally abusive and Ive tried to resolve that issue already and we havent been able to agree so since he's suing me for the stuff we will deal with that in court. So I know he's gonna be pi$$ed. I told her I only want to discuss the baby and visitation. I dont know how he's gonna take this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 3:37pm

Give him back his stuff, it is as simple as that. Have the mediator negotiate that if you return it immediately that he will drop the lawsuit.

As for his anger, it will have no bearing on visitation or custody at all. His anger is towards you, an adult, and unless he has harmed the child the judge won't even consider it. If you give him back the stuff he has been asking for he probably won't be as angry. Are you trying to push his buttons and hopefully provoke him to do something that you can use against him in court? Even the mediator suggested you give it back to difuse the situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 3:58pm

The stuff was mine as well. I gave him 5 years of my life and a child. He cheated with 3 different women, he's nasty, disrespectful and rude to me, he's emotionally and verbally abusive. He had no problem with me having the stuff until he found out I was dating someone and told me to let the new guy buy some stuff for the house. He has a tv, vcr and dvd player as well as a radio why now does he want these things from me now.

As far as Im concerned these things are for our son to have. I cant get back all the time, money, and love I put into our relationship. You cant be nasty like he is and then expect favors. He doesnt care about the things Ive asked him for. He even lets his 21yr old gf interfere when we are discussing the baby. He shouldnt do that. He doesnt even help with the baby at all. He chose to cheat, knew the consequences and didnt care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2005
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 4:05pm
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Edited 11/14/2005 4:48 pm ET by lifeisgrand2005
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 4:11pm

Stuff is just that--stuff. I agree with the poster who said to give it back. This post sounds like you're withholding on "stuff" to get revenge. Your kid is WAY more important. Give in where it doesn't matter so that you can get what you want--the best arrangement for the child.

JMHO--I gave up boatloads of "stuff". I don't regret it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 4:22pm
Maybe you guys misunderstood my post. These are things from my bedroom that I and the baby use. I dont have the money to go out and rebuy this stuff. It's not like he doesnt have a tv, vcr, dvd player and radio. He already does, so why does he want this to. I believe his ego is hurt. He said in mediation, he has to hear from his family and friends tell him how stupid he is that he walked away with nothing and I got everything. Where am I supposed to get the money to buy these things over again?