Fairy Tale
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| Wed, 03-15-2006 - 10:51am |
Once upon a time
in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
an forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. "
That night,
as the princess dined sumptuously
on lightly sautéed frog legs
seasoned in a white wine
and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't freakin think so.
(I laughed - even though it was my ex-MIL that sent that to me!)

LOL!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Omg abbynwb, I laughed so hard I was crying...and then I laughed some more...thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! Actually to be honest, I swear I think reading this poem and realizing my reaction to it is actually a step in my life processing the path to find myself again...
Once you live with and accomodate/enable a verbal abuser/any abuser, amongst the things you have to eventually sort out is why? Why did I allow it? Why did I play peacemaker? Why was most things I struggled with doing for myself 'selfish'? I was not a timid personality when we met, dated or in the first years of marriage. The insiduous, slow methods of a controller combined with being told it was my imagination, that he wasn't doing anything wrong or treating me badly, and that I was too 'sensitive' or needed to 'try harder' submerged just about all of the 'me' I used to be. I tried so hard to shield the children. Even in the divorce I have continued for their sake to tell them to love their dad, that he and I just can't get along but he is a good dad, and for them to remember the divorce is not 'their' fault in any way. This has backfired somewhat, because despite my taking this high road, he and his family have painted me as 'bad' in any of the 'righteous' ways they can come up with, refusing to realize by making the children's mommy 'bad' --- that hurts the childrens self esteem...they are so high above mortals, and especially me, that they know 'all.' Pitiful, and eventually a lonely place for him I think.
I know that sounds strange to some, but it is absolutely true. After 14 months of living separately, going to counseling, remembering with friends who I used to be, and finding out that a controller may just never admit to his problems, that he actually will very probably never admit to himself that he treats certain people in life differently than others --- I now know that it didn't matter very much what I did or didn't do within certain perameters. It was the process of the control he needs in his life, not the specific topics which we needed to address.
What does all that have to do with this poem? I laughed at it and for the whole day ... until I was jounaling later did I 'feel guilty' for being amused at a barely perceptible version of cannibalism and ultra-feminism in literary form....going out to find a seafood restaurant later this week...Annah.
Glad you liked it Annah.
I am still chuckling over it myself. I didn't tell my ex-MIL that I thought of her son when I read it....but I certainly did!
I don't think I really caught on to the cannibalism thing.....I just liked her independence!
Like you, I was with a selfish, controlling/abusive person. He was also pretty insidious when he did it and it took several years before I felt like I was as crappy a person as he was telling me (sometimes it was just his actions that were 'telling' me that). If what he was doing had been obviously 'out there' early on - I would've left earlier! I do feel that my ex is rather a loser - I can't imagine him ever really looking at himself and his behavior and changing. And yes, sometimes I feel sorry for him.
I was feeling kind of upset this weekend - my ds had a birthday. It was hard to drop him off at the ex's and gf's house - knowing they were going to celebrate his birthday. I was upset thinking about - it should've been me, my ds and my ex! But what I thought today was - even if I was still with him - it likely would've sucked. What I wanted out of the marriage and how I wanted things to be is not how it was - and it was never going to be the way I wanted it to be!
I have struggled a long time with a lot of 'whys', too. I keep thinking I must have done a lot of things wrong because he treated me so crappily. I am finally starting to feel better about me - to remember who I was before I met him - and that he is likely going to treat the gf badly, too, in the future. This is not to say I was completely blameless, but I have decided it wasn't all my fault we broke up!
He's already done some things that I think are indicative of his character/nature with the gf....she evidently doesn't want to see if for what it is - from what I can see, they both seem awfully desperate to hang onto the relationship. I think he is scared she'll see the 'real' him. I am not sure what all her motivations are - I imagine that he seems like a great guy to her and he spends so much money and effort on her - what's not to like? I usually hope that they can have a healthy, stable relationship as that is good for my son.
I know he isn't a great catch. I have to remind myself often - when I am feeling down or blue or exhausted - that I am SO much better off without him!
Take care,
Abby