family functions?
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| Sat, 05-19-2007 - 2:27pm |
My husband and I are divorcing. There is a big family party for my father next weekend, and my STBX wants to go. My question is, do I let him? He says he should be there out of respect for my father. (I say, if you respect my father so much, you shouldn't have been such a bastard to his daughter.............me.) Our kids are still young and would love for him to be there. Our 2 families knew eachother way before we got married, so there is a history besides our marriage. And he and my family get along really well. Should I just suck it up and invite him to come to the party?
Just to let you know where I am at- I did not want a divorce but he just can't seem to handle marries life and kids. I go from missing him to wanting to wishing him ill (sounds teribble, but I think just about anyone going through a divorce feels that way sometimes...!!!!!!!!!!!!). This is all just so hard.

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If you don't want him there, he should not attend.
I'd ask your father to do you a favor -- have your father uninvite your sob STBX.
This idiot needs to understand that there are consequences to his crappy behaviour. If he can't handle marriage, he needs to start handling the side effects of ending the marriage.
Would your dad want him there? I think the answer to that question would dictate my suggestion to you. If they're ok with him being there and you can have a good time if he's there, I see no harm in him coming.
I am very close to my X's family, closer to his sister than he is (she's very angry at him for leaving), and have always had a good relationship with his parents. Our families have been close in the 20 years we were together. I would be devasted if I was suddenly disinvited to their family functions, esp since he's the one who ended the marriage, not me.
On the other hand, I really don't want him at my family gatherings b/c he's the one who opted out of the family. My bro's dd was baptised this weekend & while I didn't want him there, my bro did, so I sucked it up and delt with it. It's important to me that my kids see that we can get along.
So, I'm no help at all, am I? LOL.
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