Feel like I am going out of my mind

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2005
Feel like I am going out of my mind
3
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 8:29am
Hi, I am new here. This is all brand new to me. First off, I have been married for 6 years, have a 5 year old daughter (the love of my life) and my husband has decided that he doesn't want to be responsible for his family. This has been coming for awhile, I have always just put things in the back of my mind. He says he still loves me but he is just "confused". Needs to get himself straight. Whatever that means, in the meantime he has left me to pay all the bills, keeps saying he will help but then cannot get ahold of him. I feel like I am going to lose my house, which we just bought. My daughter cries and screams everynight for her daddy, she is pushing me away. She will be starting kindergarten in two weeks and she is very upset because she thinks her daddy wont be there for her first day. I always tell her that daddy loves her and so do I. Then I found out the other day that I have to have surgery, my jaw was broken years ago and wasn't fixed right so now they have to go back in and reset it. Which means 6-8 week recovery time, unpaid leave from work, and no one to help me. I just feel like I am going crazy. I've always considered myself a strong person but this is just too much. I really am losing my mind. I want my family and my life back. I know things will work out in the end one way or the other, I just can't see that light at the end of the tunnel right now. Any advice, suggestions? Thanks
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 9:13am

you are not going out of your mind. you are in a scary and unsure situation - and i promise you this: once you get things settled, one way or another, you will slowly lose that scary, panicky feeling and you will begin to feel like your 'self' again. alas, it may take a while to get there - but there are things you can do to help yourself.

first of all - you need to get some legal help. your husband can't just walk out and decide that he is or is not going to support his family. that is his responsibility.

second - go thru his papers and make copies of everything - bank accounts, retirement funds, etc.

and third - get some help for yourself. you are obviously very angry and upset - you need help. talk to your GP and tell him/her what is going on. you may need some mild tranquilizers for a while (i am not a big fan of tranquilizers, but you need to get yourself under control). also speak to a children psychologist to get some pointers on how to deal with your dd. often when "we" are upset - they pick up on our feelings and feel scared and then act out in different ways - like nightmares, bedwetting, hitting, etc. i would also tell you to meet with her teachers and tell them what is going on (they don't know every nitty gritty detail, but just give them the gist of things so that they will know how to react with her).

come here as often as you need.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 11:43am
Hey, hang in there! Sorry this is happening to you. If you can put off the surgery, do. Sometimes, doctors are pushy about things that don't need done instantly. If this has been a problem for many years, it most LIKELY (of course I could be wrong but...) can wait a bit. Explain the situation and tell them that if it can wait, it needs to. You don't need that added to your pile of life right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2006
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 3:31pm
I agree with the others. If possible put off the surgery for now. You don't need the added stress and your dd definitely doesn't need additional changes right now. See a lawyer. Your dh is required to help you. Hope things improve soon. Hugs.