Feeling hopeless today.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Feeling hopeless today.........
3
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 4:04pm
STBX, will not refer to him as H anymore, has such a messed up reality that it is almost humorous. He called today and asked to see the boys before he left town. I said ok, stopped by his work and let him say a quick hi/ bye to the boys and then we left. He calls me an hour or two later, when he is driving on his way to see his girlfriend, and wants to know why I have been so short and have had attitude with him. I have been purposely being really short b/c I just hate talking to him and he will not stop calling daily...even worse, more than once a day...unless he is out of town visiting girlfriend....Anyway,He says it is to check on boys, but he never ever called this much when we were married and then a lot of times he calls when he knows they are asleep. He says he wants to know how their day was, I just want to yell at him, call them in the morning or earlier in the day and ask them yourself. I wanted to say Hello we are getting divorced, you are driving to see another woman 6 hours away.....WE ARE NOT FRIENDS....and you should not care if I am short with you!!!!I am short with you b/c it is better for me...You know, me the person that has never really mattered to you...Sorry, to vent....I am just going through a rough day today....I am just trying to accept the fact that he has some one and I do not.....I have always tried to be a good person and I was an excellent wife and mother...I was always there for him...always loved him and supported every decision, dealt with his constant traveling in a positive way for our family, raised our boys by myself, dealt with his cold and mean behavior,worked to get over his first affair with our own friend, put up with his dysfunctional family and everything that they could dish out....I would have stood by him no matter what....and what did I get for that....I got abandoned.....not for some one better.....just some one different....He has always had GGS....Grass is Greener Syndrome.....I am a religous person, but am still having issues getting over the extreme dislike I have for him.....I just wish I did not have to see his big bald overinflated head all of the time.......I think things will be better when divorce is final in a couple of months......
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 4:07pm

**Big Hugs**


There will be days like this. As long as you stay true to yourself and true to your boys, that's all that matters. Personally, I think you are handling things amazingly. Keep up the great work.


I'm glad you took the time to vent!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 3:49pm

"I'm not being short, but our relationship now must take on a more business-like tone to effectively parent our children, therefore, while I'm glad that you're trying to stay connected with the boys, I also hope that you'll respect their bed time and other activity times and plan your communication around that."


Hang in there..... trust me, the more you can tell yourself "grin and bear it" the easier it will be in the long run.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 11:46pm

Three words.....unplug the phone!

My stbx is the same way!!! He would never call the kids and show them ANY attention, but now that a divorce is heading his way he is calling way too early and way too late....so for the last few weeks I unplug my phone when I put the kids to sleep and then plug it back in after I have had a nice breakfast in the morning. He's complaining, but I tell him that he can call the kids during the hours that they are AWAKE! Anything outside that time is just manipulating my time...AND WASTING IT!

I can't wait to be divorced!!! He's been gone from the house about three weeks and it has been the happiest I have been in a VERY long time! We have been married almost 11yrs....I just caught him with his third woman...I'm so glad I'm strong enough to say NO MORE!!!

So....unplug that phone when the kids go to bed!