feeling a little scared!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2005
feeling a little scared!
4
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 2:33pm
I am just starting this divorce process, infact our first court date is scheduled for Jan 12th! Emotionally, I am done crying and missing a man who is not worth it. Now, I'm just worried about paying all these bills. He left me when I was 6 months pregnant with our third child for the neighbor! Then while I was on maternity leave I got laid off!! I bearly got a job (which is about $3 less) and now I'm stuck with our house payment, other bills, and a $600 truck payment!!! Usually I dont feel this stressed but I am really feeling it today!. I've been using my 401K and severance package to pay for everything so far but it is running low and now its Christmas time. He helps me very little financially so that makes it even harder for me. I would of sold the house a long time ago but in the divorce I am asking for 90% of the equity of the house. I feel I deserve it after all I've been the one paying for it. Usually my days have been a lot better its just today I am feeling scared that I will not be ablt to pay my bills. I just needed to vent. I'm going today to see if I can get some kind of emergency orders to have my X pay the house payment until the divorce is settled and the house sells. Does anyone know anything about this? I've heard of it but I'm wondering if anyone has actually done this before and did it work?! Thanks for listening!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 7:30pm

You can file for an emergency support hearing. You can and should request that he pays 1/2 the mortgage and 1/2 the marital bills. There is no reason you are left holding the bag when he decided the grass was greener. I'm not sure about the 90% equity thing.....depending on your state, it might be a 50/50 thing and you might have to split the equity with him. If he doesn't pay 1/2 the mortgage, you might be able to get more equity (like giving you his 1/2 the mortgage payments out of his settlement).


If you can't get the emergency hearing, make sure you bring in mortgage statements and proof of you paying them all since he's been gone. the judge can/should retro the order (he'll have to pay you back 1/2 the mortgage payments since the time he left your home).


You need to contact your attorney to discuss these things. You are dwindling your retirement for this and I hate to see that. Get him to pay 1/2 the bills (via a court order) until your divorce is final and the house is sold.


Good luck!


I'm sooooooooo Sorry you are going through this. Hang in there...it does get better...I promise!


Deb


Dang it--I'm sorry about the hat!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 1:13am

Deb gave you some great advice.... and I just wanted to let you know that we're here with ya!


Hang in there!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 6:26pm
Thank you so much for the advice and support. Reading your response made feel a lot better. I believe it does get better.......I'm just waiting for it to happen. Thanks again. I did go to my attorney and we filed for an emergency hearing so we can get him to start helping me with the mortgage (at least!) Hopefully all goes well and fast!!!
Thanks again!! :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 6:28pm
Yes, she did!! Thanks so much. I really appreciate the support I get from this board. It really helps!!