Feeling Trapped

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Feeling Trapped
15
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 1:16pm

I have been lurking here for quite a while, and I am very impressed with the ladies on this board. Also, the CLs are really wonderful and caring!

I would like to run a scenario by you. I have been very unhappy in my marriage for several years. We have tried everything - counseling, a separation, and nothing has worked. My H does not want a divorce, and has made that very clear. I really want one. Here is the problem - we just moved about a year and a half ago. This is my son's second school. He has made some wonderful friends, and we live in a fantastic school system. If we get a divorce, I will have to move out of this town to afford a rent (rent is VERY expensive in our city). That would mean my son would have to leave behind his friends, start a THIRD elementary school (he is 10), start a new karate school, a new baseball team, etc. Neither my H or I would be able to afford our house by ourselves.

I realize kids are resilient, but the though of moving him to another school and making him say goodbye to his friends once again kills me. Our marriage counselor even said that since I'm stuck in this marriage, I may as well try to make it work (!). Has anyone else felt trapped in a marriage because of circumstance and finances?

Pages

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 6:40pm

I was actually thinking perhaps you could keep your house and get a roommate too if that is better for you. Good luck!

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:15pm

Thanks, Melanie. Unfortunately, I would have to change an insane amount for a bedroom the size of a walk-in closet :)

But I wanted to thank all of you for your support. I feel very foolish about being in this position, and I feel like I've come to the right place.

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 7:37pm

Don't feel foolish! I'm having a tough time $-wise too. I totally understand!

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 04-09-2005 - 10:15am
One other thing to consider. My friend's brother and his wife divorced. She worked really hard to stay in the same neighborhood, but it was very expensive so it was a struggle. All the children their son grew up with had a lot of money, and their son just didn't. It was hard on their son to keep up with this friends, their clothing, their eating out and shopping habits. Not sure if it's just the housing prices in your area, or if your son is going to be out of sync with his friends in other ways. Just something to think about.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 10:41am
Have you looked at apartments in private homes (basement apt./converted garage/house turned into flats)? Around here these often aren't even listed in the paper, but are advertised on community bulletin boards found in grocery stores, corner stores, etc. Here they cost much less than apt. buildings.

Pages